Hockenbury Discovering Psychology 5th txtbk

Enhancing Well-Being with Psychology411ENHANCING WELL-BEING WITH PSYCHOLOGYRaising Psychologically Healthy ChildrenUnfortunately, kids don’t come with owners’ manuals. Maybethat’s why if you walk into any bookstore and head for the “parenting”section, you’ll see shelves of books offering advice ontopics ranging from “how to toilet-train your toddler” to “howto talk to your teenager.” We’re not going to attempt to coverthat range here. However, we will present some basic principlesof parenting that have been shown to foster the development ofchildren who are psychologically well-adjusted, competent, andin control of their own behavior.Basic Parenting Styles and Their Effects on ChildrenPsychologist Diana Baumrind (1971, 1991, 2005) hasdescribed three basic parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive,and authoritative. These parenting styles differ in termsof (1) parental control and (2) parental responsiveness to thechild’s needs and wishes.Parents with an authoritarian parenting style are demandingbut unresponsive to their children’s needs or wishes. Authoritarianparents believe that they should shape and control thechild’s behavior so that it corresponds to an absolute set of standards.Put simply, they expect children to obey the rules, noquestions asked. Rules are made without input from the child,and they are enforced by punishment, often physical.At the opposite extreme are two permissive parentingstyles (Maccoby & Martin, 1983). Permissive-indulgent parentsare responsive, warm, and accepting of their children but imposefew rules and rarely punish their children. Permissive-indifferentparents are both unresponsive and uncontrolling. Establishingfirm rules and consistently enforcing them is simply too muchtrouble for permissive-indifferent parents. If taken to an extreme,the lack of involvement of permissive-indifferent parenting canamount to child neglect.The third style is the authoritative parenting style. Authoritativeparents are warm, responsive, and involved with their children.They set clear standards for mature, age-appropriatebehavior and expect their children to be responsive to parentaldemands. However, authoritative parents also feel a reciprocalresponsibility to consider their children’s reasonable demandsand points of view. Thus, there is considerable give-and-takebetween parent and child. Rules are firm and consistentlyenforced, but the parents discuss the reasons for the rules withthe child (Maccoby & Martin, 1983).How do these different parenting styles affect young children?Baumrind (1971) found that the children of authoritarian parentsare likely to be moody, unhappy, fearful, withdrawn,unspontaneous, and irritable. The children of permissive parentstend to be more cheerful than the children of authoritarian parents,but they are more immature, impulsive, and aggressive. Incontrast, the children of authoritative parents are likely to becheerful, socially competent, energetic, and friendly. They showhigh levels of self-esteem, self-reliance, and self-control (Buri &others, 1988).These different parenting styles also affect children’s competence,adjustment, and delinquent behavior (Kaufmann & others,2000; Palmer & Hollin, 2001; Simons and Conger, 2007).Authoritative parenting is associated with higher grades thanauthoritarian or permissive parenting (Kawamura & others,2002; Supple and Small, 2006). In one study of several hundredadolescents, this finding was consistent for virtually alladolescents, regardless of ethnic or socioeconomic background(Dornbusch & others, 1987).Adding to the evidence, psychologist Laurence Steinbergand his colleagues (1995) conducted a three-year longitudinalstudy involving more than 20,000 U.S. high school students.Steinberg found that authoritative parenting is associatedwith a broad range of beneficial effects for the adolescent, regardlessof socioeconomic or ethnic background. As Steinbergsummarized, “Adolescents raised in authoritative homes arebetter adjusted and more competent, they are confidentabout their abilities, competent in areas of achievement, andless likely than their peers to get into trouble” (Steinberg &others, 1995).Why does an authoritative parenting style provide such clearadvantages over other parenting styles? First, when children perceivetheir parents’ requests as fair and reasonable, they are morelikely to comply with the requests. Second, the children are morelikely to internalize (or accept as their own) the reasons for behavingin a certain way and thus to achieve greater self-control(Hoffman, 1977, 1994).In contrast, authoritarian parenting promotes resentment andrebellion (Hoffman, 1977, 1988). Because compliance is basedon external control and punishment, the child often learns toavoid the parent rather than independently control his or herown behavior (Gershoff, 2002). Finally, the child with permissiveparents may never learn self-control. And because permissiveparents have low expectations, the child may well live up tothose expectations by failing to strive to fulfill his or her potential(Baumrind, 1971).How to Be an Authoritative Parent:Some Practical SuggestionsAuthoritative parents are high in both responsiveness and control.How can you successfully achieve that balance? Here areseveral suggestions based on psychological research.1. Let your children know that you love them.Attention, hugs, and other demonstrations of physical affection,coupled with a positive attitude toward your child, are some ofthe most important aspects of parenting, aspects that haveenduring effects (Steinberg, 2001). Children who experiencewarm, positive relationships with their parents are more likely tobecome happy adults with stable marriages and good relationshipswith friends (Franz & others, 1991). So the question issimple: Have you hugged your kids today?