Hockenbury Discovering Psychology 5th txtbk

574CHAPTER 13 Psychological Disorderspassing judgment may provide just the support the person needsto overcome the immediate suicidal feelings. Hearing themselvestalk can also help suicidal individuals identify and better understandtheir own feelings.Guideline 2: Don’t deny or minimize the person’s suicidalintentions.Brushing aside suicidal statements with platitudes, like “Don’t besilly, you’ve got everything to live for,” or clichés, like “Everycloud has a silver lining,” is not a helpful response. This is not thetime to be glib, patronizing, or superficial. Instead, ask yourfriend if she wants to talk about her feelings. Try to be matterof-factand confirm that she is indeed seriously suicidal, ratherthan simply exaggerating her frustration or disappointment.How can you confirm that the person is suicidal? Simply askher, “Are you really thinking about killing yourself?” Talkingabout specific suicide plans (how, when, and where), givingaway valued possessions, and putting her affairs in order aresome indications that a person’s suicidal intentions are serious.Guideline 3: Identify other potential solutions.The suicidal person is operating with psychological blinders thatprevent him from seeing alternative courses of action or otherways of looking at his problems. How can you remove thoseblinders? Simply saying, “Here are some options you may nothave thought about” is a good starting point. You might list alternativesolutions to the person’s problems, helping him to understandthat other potential solutions do exist, even thoughnone may be perfect (Shneidman, 1998).Guideline 4: Ask the person to delay his decision.Most suicidal people are ambivalent about wanting to die. Ifyour friend did not have mixed feelings about committing suicide,he probably wouldn’t be talking to you. If he is still intenton suicide after talking about other alternatives, ask him to delayhis decision. Even a few days’ delay may give the person enoughtime to psychologically regroup, consider alternatives, or seekhelp.Guideline 5: Encourage the person to seek professionalhelp.If the person is seriously suicidal and may harm herself in thenear future, do not leave her alone. The most important thingyou can do is help to get the person referred to a mental healthprofessional for evaluation and treatment. If you don’t feel youcan do this alone, find another person to help you.There are any number of resources you can suggest, includinglocal suicide hotlines or mental health associations, the collegecounseling service, and the person’s family doctor or religiousadviser. You can also suggest calling 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433), which will connect you with a crisis center in your area.How to Help a Friend The majority of those who attempt suicidecommunicate their intentions to friends or family members(Shneidman, 1998). When a friend is despondent and desperate,you can help by listening, expressing your understanding andcompassion, and, if necessary, referring him or her to a professionalcounselor or suicide prevention specialist.