Hockenbury Discovering Psychology 5th txtbk

616 CHAPTER 14 TherapiesENHANCING WELL-BEING WITH PSYCHOLOGYWhat to Expect in PsychotherapyThe cornerstone of psychotherapy is the relationship between thetherapist and the person seeking help. But the therapy relationshipis different from all other close relationships. On the onehand, the therapist–client relationship is characterized by intimacyand the disclosure of very private, personal experiences.On the other hand, there are distinct boundaries to thetherapist–client relationship. To a therapy client, especially onewho is undertaking psychotherapy for the first time, the therapyrelationship may sometimes seem confusing and contradictory.The following guidelines should help you understand the specialnature of the therapy relationship and develop realisticexpectations about the process of psychotherapy.1. Strengthen your commitment to change.Therapy is not about maintaining the status quo. It is about makingchanges in terms of how you think, feel, act, and respond. Formany people, the idea of change produces mixed feelings. Youcan increase the likelihood of achieving your goals in therapy bythinking about the reasons you want to change and remindingyourself of your commitment to change (Hettema & others, 2005).2. Therapy is a collaborative effort.Don’t expect your therapist to do all the work for you. If you aregoing to benefit from psychotherapy, you must actively participatein the therapeutic process. Often, therapy requires effortnot only during the therapy sessions but also outside them.Many therapists assign “homework” to be completed betweensessions. You may be asked to keep a diary of your thoughts andbehaviors, read assigned material, rehearse skills that you’velearned in therapy, and so forth. Such exercises are importantcomponents of the overall therapy process.3. Don’t confuse catharsis with change.In the chapter Prologue, Marcia mentions the cathartic effect oftherapy. Catharsis refers to the emotional release that peopleexperience from the simple act of talking about their problems. Althoughit usually produces short-term emotional relief, catharsis initself does not resolve the problem. Even so, catharsis is an importantelement of psychotherapy. Discussing emotionally charged issueswith a therapist can lessen your sense of psychological tensionand urgency and can help you explore the problem more rationallyand objectively.4. Don’t confuse insight with change.Despite what you’ve seen in the movies, developing insight intothe sources or nature of your psychological problems does notmagically resolve them. Nor does insight automatically translateinto healthier thoughts and behaviors. Instead, insight allowsyou to look at and understand your problems in a new light. Theopportunity for change occurs when your therapist helps youuse these insights to redefine past experiences, resolve psychologicalconflicts, and explore more adaptive forms of behavior.Even with the benefit of insight, it takes effort to change howyou think, behave, and react to other people.5. Don’t expect your therapist to make decisions for you.One of the most common misunderstandings about psychotherapyis that your therapist is going to tell you how to run your life.Not so. Virtually all forms of therapy are designed to increase aperson’s sense of responsibility, confidence, and mastery in dealingwith life’s problems. Your therapist won’t make your decisionsfor you, but he or she will help you explore your feelingsabout important decisions—including ambivalence or fear. Somepeople find this frustrating because they want the therapist totell them what to do. But if your therapist made decisions foryou, it would only foster dependency and undermine your abilityto be responsible for your own life.6. Expect therapy to challenge how you think and act.As you confront issues that you’ve never discussed before oreven admitted to yourself, you may find therapy very anxietyprovoking.Moments of psychological discomfort are a normal,even expected, part of the therapy process.Think of therapy as a psychological magnifying glass. Therapytends to magnify both your strengths and your weaknesses.Such intense self-scrutiny is not always flattering. Examininghow you habitually deal with failure and success, conflict andresolution, disappointment and joy can be disturbing. You maybecome aware of the psychological games you play or of howyou use ego defense mechanisms to distort reality. You may haveto acknowledge your own immature, maladaptive, or destructivebehavior patterns. Although it can be painful, becoming awarethat changes are needed is a necessary step toward developinghealthier forms of thinking and behavior.NON SEQUITURby Wiley Miller