Hockenbury Discovering Psychology 5th txtbk

434 CHAPTER 10 Personality©1994 The New Yorker Collection from Cartoonbank.com. Donald Reilly.actualizing tendencyIn Rogers’s theory, the innate drive to maintainand enhance the human organism.self-conceptThe set of perceptions and beliefs that youhold about yourself.conditional positive regardIn Rogers’s theory, the sense that you willbe valued and loved only if you behave in away that is acceptable to others; conditionallove or acceptance.unconditional positive regardIn Rogers’s theory, the sense that you willbe valued and loved even if you don’t conformto the standards and expectations ofothers; unconditional love or acceptance.“To this day, I can hear my mother’s voice—harsh, accusing. ‘Lost your mittens? Younaughty kittens! Then you shall have nopie!’”Unconditional Positive Regard Rogers contendedthat healthy personality developmentis the result of being unconditionallyvalued and loved as a person (Bozarth,2007). He advised parents and teachers tocontrol a child’s inappropriate behaviorwithout rejecting the child himself. Sucha style of discipline teaches acceptablebehaviors without diminishing the child’ssense of self-worth.Like Freud, Rogers developed his personality theory from his clinical experienceswith his patients. Rogers referred to his patients as “clients” to emphasize their activeand voluntary participation in therapy. In marked contrast to Freud, Rogers wascontinually impressed by his clients’ drive to grow and develop their potential.These observations convinced Rogers that the most basic human motive is theactualizing tendency—the innate drive to maintain and enhance the humanorganism (Bozarth & Wang, 2008). According to Rogers, all other human motives,whether biological or social, are secondary. He compared the actualizing tendencyto a child’s drive to learn to walk despite early frustration and falls. To get asense of the vastly different views of Rogers and Freud, read the Critical Thinkingbox “Freud Versus Rogers on Human Nature.”The Self-ConceptRogers (1959) was struck by how frequently his clients in therapy said, “I’m notreally sure who I am” or “I just don’t feel like myself.” This observation helped formthe cornerstone of Rogers’s personality theory: the idea of the self-concept. Theself-concept is the set of perceptions and beliefs that you have about yourself,including your nature, your personal qualities, and your typical behavior.According to Rogers (1980), people are motivated to act in accordance withtheir self-concept. So strong is the need to maintain a consistent self-conceptthat people will deny or distort experiences that contradict their self-concept.The self-concept begins evolving early in life. Because they are motivated bythe actualizing tendency, infants and young children naturally gravitate towardself-enhancing experiences. But as children develop greater self-awareness, thereis an increasing need for positive regard. Positive regard is the sense of being lovedand valued by other people, especially one’s parents (Bozarth, 2007).Rogers (1959) maintained that most parents provide their children withconditional positive regard—the sense that the child is valued and loved onlywhen she behaves in a way that is acceptable to others. The problem with conditionalpositive regard is that it causes the child to learn to deny or distort her genuinefeelings. For example, if little Amy’s parents scold and reject her when she expressesangry feelings, her strong need for positive regard will cause her to deny heranger, even when it’s justified or appropriate. Eventually, Amy’s self-concept will becomeso distorted that genuine feelings of anger are denied, because they are inconsistentwith her self-concept as “a good girl who never gets angry.” Because of thefear of losing positive regard, she cuts herself off from her true feelings.Like Freud, Rogers believed that feelings and experiences could be driven fromconsciousness by being denied or distorted. But Rogers believed that feelingsbecome denied or distorted not because they are threatening but because theycontradict the self-concept. In this case, people are in a state of incongruence: Theirself-concept conflicts with their actual experience (Rogers, 1959). Such a person iscontinually defending against genuine feelings and experiences that are inconsistentwith his self-concept. As this process continues over time, a person progressivelybecomes more “out of touch” with his true feelings and his essential self, oftenexperiencing psychological problems as a result.How is incongruence to be avoided? In the ideal situation, a child experiencesa great deal of unconditional positive regard from parents and other authorityfigures. Unconditional positive regard refers to the child’s sense ofbeing unconditionally loved and valued, even if she doesn’t conform to thestandards and expectations of others. In this way, the child’s actualizing tendencyis allowed its fullest expression. However, Rogers did not advocate permissiveparenting. He thought that parents were responsible for controllingtheir children’s behavior and for teaching them acceptable standards of behavior.Rogers maintained that parents can discipline their child without underminingthe child’s sense of self-worth.For example, parents can disapprove of a child’s specific behavior withoutcompletely rejecting the child herself. In effect, the parent’s message should be,