A thesis submitted in partial fulfilment of - Etheses - Queen Margaret ...
A thesis submitted in partial fulfilment of - Etheses - Queen Margaret ...
A thesis submitted in partial fulfilment of - Etheses - Queen Margaret ...
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111<br />
expect…I suppose that‟s why I‟ve done so many th<strong>in</strong>gs like… that people go „wow!‟<br />
…cos people just don‟t assume… and I certa<strong>in</strong>ly know that‟s the reason I did the<br />
sky-dive, it was just cos, like, I wanted to do someth<strong>in</strong>g totally random and, like,<br />
just… someth<strong>in</strong>g completely… I‟d always wanted to do it, but it was, like, people<br />
said “Oh, I don‟t know if she should do it” …so I thought fuck it, I‟m go<strong>in</strong>g to do<br />
it... (l.1:694ff.)<br />
Ben makes a similar po<strong>in</strong>t:<br />
...all these th<strong>in</strong>gs, so deeply engra<strong>in</strong>ed with me, unfortunately, you‟ve gone through<br />
an entire childhood like that, you still tend to try… and reject a lot <strong>of</strong> support quite<br />
<strong>of</strong>ten… and you th<strong>in</strong>k you can do someth<strong>in</strong>g which you… erm… no, you th<strong>in</strong>k you<br />
can do someth<strong>in</strong>g which is impossible… but, you know… I have been, it‟s so deeply<br />
engra<strong>in</strong>ed it‟s just that you can‟t get rid <strong>of</strong> that attitude… even though you know it‟s<br />
a wrong and bad attitude... it‟s... it is part <strong>of</strong> my past identity… you know, you still<br />
feel you‟ve got to out-compete other people... prov<strong>in</strong>g is pass<strong>in</strong>g, that‟s what I was<br />
look<strong>in</strong>g to say… I still feel that I‟ve got to prove myself… (l.539ff.)<br />
The imposition <strong>of</strong> the idea <strong>of</strong> impairment and disability as personal deficiency is resisted by<br />
those who do not consider themselves personally deficient, but unless this resistance<br />
acknowledges the structural relations which are served by this idea, it is empty protest. To<br />
say “I don‟t see myself as disabled” (Anne, l.1:162; Ali, l.529; Hazel, l.1:216; Sarah, l.1:694)<br />
does not mean either that one does not experience social barriers or that one is not<br />
considered disabled by other people. However, it does <strong>in</strong>volve a distanc<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> self from<br />
disability as an identity, which confirms the idea that to be disabled is not someth<strong>in</strong>g one<br />
would want.<br />
If we accept this understand<strong>in</strong>g <strong>of</strong> disability as role we can beg<strong>in</strong> to th<strong>in</strong>k <strong>of</strong> disability as part<br />
<strong>of</strong> the embodied experience <strong>of</strong> people with impairments, materialised not only <strong>in</strong> their<br />
exclusion from ord<strong>in</strong>ary community life but <strong>in</strong> terms also <strong>of</strong> what they are expected to do<br />
with their lives <strong>in</strong>stead: not just <strong>in</strong> terms <strong>of</strong> be<strong>in</strong>g passive (as recipients <strong>of</strong> charity) but also <strong>in</strong><br />
attempt<strong>in</strong>g to demonstrate that they are not passive (by do<strong>in</strong>g sky-dives).<br />
As Stryker notes, the language <strong>of</strong> roles cannot be used without at least implicit reference to<br />
counter-roles (Stryker, 2002:58). From a culturally dom<strong>in</strong>ant perspective, the counter role to<br />
be<strong>in</strong>g disabled is understood as that <strong>of</strong> be<strong>in</strong>g able-bodied. Able-bodiedness and be<strong>in</strong>g non-<br />
disabled can be understood as descriptions <strong>of</strong> the same subject position but viewed from