A thesis submitted in partial fulfilment of - Etheses - Queen Margaret ...

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239 around thinking am I compensating... am I suffering... sometimes I forget I‟m a disabled person... depending on what I‟m doing…and actually going for hours without being conscious of my wheelchair or my impairment and you know … even the pain, actually... to some extent.... and I‟m a writer or a friend or a lover or a … an aunty or whatever and I go those roles as well... (l.3:232ff.) Given appropriate environments and contexts Lola‟s point is that, far from constantly overshadowing everything she thinks and does, disability and impairment is often the last thing on her mind. I want to characterise Lola‟s visit to the UK Chatterbox website in terms of Certeau‟s tactics of resistance. In logging in she is doing nothing except having a laugh, enjoying a bit of mischief, being slightly naughty, taking the piss. While she does sometimes play mind games with some of the male punters around body image and descriptions, this has little to do with disability other than to subvert its constrictions. She sticks two fingers up at assumptions. L here is Lola and C is Colin. L; Cheeky Sam who said hi … I‟ll say 21... see, I would wanna go aren‟t you in bed yet... or whatever... I can be as outrageous as I want... where‟s that… as long as sexy... all kind and kind and good... C: Like younger guys... this guy‟s asking … L: (typing and laughing) ...How do you define sexy... cos … you know, again we‟re on … there‟s so many … Blue-Eyed Taffy… how old‟s he... thirty-five... (types) C: What are you after... hee hee... L: „Cos some of those… if you just say what you‟re after, it can sound a bit aggressive... that‟s not a bad response... C: No... Mistress Keen has asked shouldn‟t you be in bed yet... to Man in his 20‟s and L: Erm... Cheeky Sam has replied only if you mean yours... C: Lola‟s now writing I thought Mummy might have tucked you in by now... lol... More typing. C: Or do you need a Mummy to do it for you... with extras...
240 (l.3:503ff.) While the transcript of this observation is a little hard to follow – it is an attempt to capture in writing an audio recording of several online conversations happening simultaneously – its meaning is, I think, clear. Shortly after 5pm Lola went online and entered the UK Chatterbox chat room designated for London punters in their 40s, introducing herself as Mistress Keen. Within minutes she had dozens of men (or, at least, people identifying themselves as men) wanting to engage her in flirtatious, if not downright seedy, „chat‟. While there may be wider questions about issues of vulnerability among disabled chat room users, Lola is an experienced woman who has divorced two husbands, published a volume of erotic stories, and performed burlesque at the Edinburgh Fringe. She is neither shy nor desperate. Her visit to this chat room is made purely for purposes of self-gratification and a vaguely dirty feeling of amusement. While, perhaps, if Lola created an alter-ego online identity for herself that was slender, beautiful and non-disabled it might be argued that this activity involves some sort of attempt to compensate for repressed sexual urges, her sense of humour inclines her rather to make statements like: I am twenty stone… erm … actually I could say... I‟m twenty stone, five eleven... I‟m a bit taller than him... with a huge minge... (l.3:591f.) The only time disability is mentioned during Lola‟s visit to UK Chatterbox, it is with a dark humour: I quite like that... (types) sorry, but you know a girl has to keep men waiting... where is the one I said … is that... I fell getting off the train... (laughs) ...are you a cripple... Both laugh. L: Shall I … shall I ask him, what are you some kind of cripple... I don‟t know if I can be quite that… mean. (types) ...let‟s do a flat statement... not the ugly ones... you know a girl has to keep you all wanting... how do I tell that... you all tell me you‟re hot and handsome... (l.3:569ff.) At length, however, after about twenty minutes, the pleasure begins to wane. Lola acknowledges her amazement at how easy it is to play men (l.3:577):
Page 1 and 2:
A thesis submitted in partial fulfi
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Abstract I offer a critical explora
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Contents Introduction p.1 Chapter 1
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When I speak of tensions I mean som
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Sutherland, Richard Rieser and Mich
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Chapter 1: Disability, Self and Ide
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8 Impairment: any loss or abnormali
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unceasing flow of representations,
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a daughter, a Scot, a West Coaster,
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matters of social significance beco
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16 Which individuality a human bein
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In Elias‟ view it is only when th
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20 [I‟m] a normal person. The onl
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acknowledgement of the processes by
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This involves a demand for recognit
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Habitus A useful insight can be dra
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as to have no impact on the rest of
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general public acceptance of the po
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32 the vast and deep injustices tha
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modernity has involved many attempt
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36 the affirmation of unique ways o
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described rather than having to rev
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Personal Experience On April 6, 197
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1100 boys from all over South Bucki
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mother did her best to discourage t
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46 mind, but to the society in whic
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ut is experienced in the terms of s
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Chapter 3: Methodology Why am I res
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52 developing a theory, usually bas
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Hamer expresses a view here that
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nor is it satisfied with the interp
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Why not grounded theory? 58 The int
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60 We set aside our prejudgements,
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events for disabled peoples‟ orga
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populations (Atkinson and Flint, 20
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terms of other groups of individual
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Jennie, a woman in her mid-thirties
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(Kusenbach, 2003) in which I accomp
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to me. I had expected interviewing
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74 that we go about the daily neces
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Participants returned the scripts r
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l = line 1: = interview number 24ff
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80 I‟m being pushed into a subjec
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The emergence of a sense of differe
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84 I saw the other disabled kids an
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work and independent living, the ch
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88 all the time we were extolled to
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The theme is repeated that being in
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Hazel struggled to recall any other
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94 to one of my aunties‟ for a pa
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The sense of standing in isolation,
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Rose‟s husband suggests the possi
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100 they feel nervous to ask “Wel
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102 extent, you know, I spent… un
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104 pain…” (laughs)… “Do yo
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ound the hat rack‟. Her relief at
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108 definite contexts of meanings c
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What I find compelling in Thomas‟
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within different discourses. While
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My revised definition of disability
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Chapter 5: Disability as Role Intro
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Person-first thinking is supported
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120 minicom… but these are just
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A different reason A related, thoug
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124 never mind…” does not impro
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126 abnormal, if you like, and more
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less powerful social group. Indeed,
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130 was a case of I just cut off al
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132 I can remember having an argume
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134 there‟s never any representat
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people regard other disabled people
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138 earth haven‟t you had a shag
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140 Sadie used to do amazing things
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Lola recalls that she was regarded
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144 weekly… I get on really fine
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146 situations together… erm… c
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In gaining an understanding of the
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however, their descriptions of havi
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152 more often than not they are me
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to negative subject positioning, wi
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significance of impairment, this ha
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As someone with adult experience of
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argues, by the repetitive, structur
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162 psychologically speaking, this
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usually involve blind characters be
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166 other indecent part of it … a
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It begins to appear that the proble
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170 on Direct Payments or Individua
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172 increasingly becomes more impor
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Anne‟s statement here reflects th
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176 Society really does view all di
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Unsurprisingly, I reject Ouellette
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Initially Ali confesses to watching
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as „awful‟ - we can see again t
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184 you‟ve been brought up and ho
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debate the choices that are display
Page 193 and 194: 188 media stereotypes - of race, ag
Page 195 and 196: 190 I didn‟t start noticing them
Page 197 and 198: 192 think about it… if it was…
Page 199 and 200: William Stothers, who describes him
Page 201 and 202: Opportunities for disabled people t
Page 203 and 204: 198 part of society watching the te
Page 205 and 206: Chapter 7: Disability in Everyday L
Page 207 and 208: always somebody worse off‟ natura
Page 209 and 210: lasted several hours and others onl
Page 211 and 212: caught by something else she wanted
Page 213 and 214: “At the moment you‟re looking a
Page 215 and 216: The camera has already focussed upo
Page 217 and 218: Given that Cumberbatch and Negrine
Page 219 and 220: What‟s going on? Emma Bowler rece
Page 221 and 222: 216 characters in that that were re
Page 223 and 224: While he described himself as takin
Page 225 and 226: experienced by Donald as he waited
Page 227 and 228: 222 get back to Dundee... will Angu
Page 229 and 230: my feet were broken I spent three m
Page 231 and 232: are looking maybe they‟re not but
Page 233 and 234: Bus from Brunswick Square to North
Page 235 and 236: Toby Miller and Alec McHoul discuss
Page 237 and 238: Erin was waiting in the chairs insi
Page 239 and 240: Or if I do I want to be employed do
Page 241 and 242: crammed bookcases and decorated wit
Page 243: 238 society, er … like, life... I
Page 247 and 248: sense of solidarity and purpose tha
Page 249 and 250: 244 sharing it you gain so much str
Page 251 and 252: space (l.3:140ff.) It was only duri
Page 253 and 254: 248 Well... the point is the way I
Page 255 and 256: 250 Sartre describes how the act of
Page 257 and 258: ought their children along. Neither
Page 259 and 260: Conclusion I conclude by re-visitin
Page 261 and 262: 256 dealings with the world is when
Page 263 and 264: of the affirmative model will hold
Page 265 and 266: References Access 4 U 2 (2009) Term
Page 267 and 268: Burchardt, T. (2005) The education
Page 269 and 270: Elias, N. (2000) The Civilising Pro
Page 271 and 272: Klages, M. (1999) Woeful Affliction
Page 273 and 274: Paralympics.com (2004) Paralympian
Page 275 and 276: Stevens, S. (2008) „Movement Does
Page 277 and 278: Wilson, T. (1995) Watching Televisi
Page 279 and 280: 274 Appendix B: Email Extracts I ha
Page 281 and 282: I first of all must say that I thin
Page 283 and 284: The discussion, comments and observ
Page 285 and 286: 280 Appendix D: Themes arising from
Page 287 and 288: 10. Political identity as disabled
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