A thesis submitted in partial fulfilment of - Etheses - Queen Margaret ...

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But she was a nice woman, and, you know… we went out for a year and even went
to Colombia… and I met her parents… and her parents were like “Oh, my God…”
...it was like, really obvious they didn‟t want her with someone like that…so then I
went out with a woman called Miriam for a few months… who, again, was like… I
seem to attract a very religious sort… so I had to pretend to be a Christian just to get
my… (laughs)… there was that and the odd snog but no sex… no actual sex… and
that became such a big issue… (l.662ff.)
Charles‟ feigning being a Christian might have been a useful strategy in terms of pulling, but
the lifestyle aspect of Christianity meant that, to his regret, sex was not on the cards.
Outsiders
That Charles‟ experiences of such tensions are fairly ordinary for disabled people is verified
by the existence of The Outsiders Club. Outsiders is a London club established by Dr Tuppy
Owens which, in its website blurb, describes itself as:
a self-help group for people with physical and social disabilities. We offer members
the chance to contact others, gain more confidence, make new friends and perhaps
find a partner. Problems in forming relationships often result from the way we've
been treated: parents being over-protective, friends condemning us as 'not marriage
material', residential staff denying our rights. Unpleasant early experiences often
result in continual fears of rejection. Newly disabled people may find it difficult to
adapt, and may lose their partners. Many of our members are shy when it comes to
flirting. Many come to us depressed and despondently showing little interest in
themselves. Outsiders gives a new lease of life (Outsiders, 2009:unpaged).
Charles‟ recollection of Outsiders paints a slightly less roseate picture:
I was like twenty-five, twenty-six probably, and still a virgin in that sense... so... and
we‟re in 1999 now... erm... and I went to Outsiders.... it‟s a club in London... and it‟s
dodgy as hell... so it‟s like a sort of club where disabled people go, basically, to get
laid... (678ff.)
Nevertheless, Outsiders seemed at least to offer him the promise of finding that elusive
experience:
So I was going to that… I went down to a few on weekends… met various people…
and, like, Tuppy was saying “We‟ll set you up, you‟re a good-looking guy… why on