A thesis submitted in partial fulfilment of - Etheses - Queen Margaret ...

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abnormal, if you like, and more attention brought to it… and you‟re just… it‟s like,
fuck off… you know what, I don‟t need this, fuck off... (l.658ff.)
Sarah‟s comment suggests there is no respite anywhere. The query “Oh, is there someone
with you…” (like Mr McHenry‟s to me at the railway station) indicates puzzlement at the
fact of disabled people being unaccompanied by a carer. In this context, too, it is possible
that there are assumptions being made about Sarah and her boyfriend‟s sexual capabilities. A
look conveying the thought “Aww... isn‟t that a shame...” can cut deep.
Surinder relates a memory
… of two carers coming into my home… and one carer‟s speaking to the other,
saying “Does she like this in her food…” and “Does she like that in her food…”
…and I said “Excuse me… I‟m here… please speak to me… on my description and
my sheet it does say I‟m mentally alert, so please speak to me… and not to your
colleague… I am here…” (laughs) (l.1:304)
Power relations become especially pronounced in encounters with disability industry
professionals. The experience Surinder describes involves being cast in the disabled role as
incapable invalid, unable to think or voice an opinion for herself. However, again just like
Mr McHenry, these care staff occupy the subject position of non-disabled people while
Surinder is positioned in the disabled role. The home carers‟ opinion of their own worth is
directly related to the indignity and lack of value ascribed to Surinder.
As somebody with a hidden impairment and a degenerative condition in its early stages,
Hazel is able to escape being placed by others in the disabled role for most of the time, and
for this reason seldom thinks of herself as disabled:
I still see myself as being lucky and I don‟t generally see myself as a disabled person
at all… (l.1:189)
It is revealing to discover that the occasions she can recall when she has felt disabled are
when her competence has been called into question by a non-disabled professional:
The only other time I‟ve ever seen myself as different was to do with getting a repeat
prescription for my medication… this nurse was blaming me for sending a fax in
when they‟d changed the policy about sending faxes, and she was telling me I
shouldn‟t have sent a fax, though there‟d been no information, no notices at the
surgery or anything, nothing to tell me the policy had changed… I felt different then,