A thesis submitted in partial fulfilment of - Etheses - Queen Margaret ...

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never mind…” does not improve things… it just makes me want to slap you, which
is not going to help anyone... (laughs) ...and my gran says “Oh, it‟s such a shame,
you having to deal with all this at such a young age…" …and I‟m like is it any better
that my mum had to deal with this in her forties… or my granddad in his sixties…
it‟s not any better or worse, it‟s still difficult… (l.965ff.)
As Helen says, receiving pity does not help, it is just experienced as annoying. It could be
suggested Helen considers being cast in the role of young tragic victim a bigger problem
than her emotional impairment. This she sees as „a fact of life and something I‟ve got to get
on with‟. It is not her impairment that she sees as the issue, but the response to her
impairment.
In the following two extracts Jennie describes situations in which the intrusion of people
who know her or slightly know her and of complete strangers can be experienced as irksome:
People do the wrong things, too, quite often… people assume, you know, that they
should help me on with my coat… my arms don‟t bend properly because of my
illness, so when somebody tries to hold my coat for me, I can‟t get into the coat,
even if I want to… and people will… I‟ll say “Please, no, don‟t do that, just give me
my coat”… and people will try to insist, which is really obnoxious (laughs) …
(l.1.131ff.)
Here we observe Jennie regarded in the disabled role as somebody who is dependent and
expected to benefit from other people‟s kindness. What makes this role inescapable is that in
protesting against unwanted help, Jennie will be regarded as protesting her ability to put on
her coat herself, thereby reinforcing the expectation that disabled people are always
preoccupied with proving their normality.
When I‟ve had real problems bending my right leg at all, or problems walking
because of that… a lot of the time I‟ve tended to wear long skirts… because, being
long skirts… loose ones… they cover it up… it means I can go about without
looking overtly disabled… and I feel safer on the street like that… not necessarily
because I would expect to be attacked for being disabled or anything… but because I
expect to be attacked anyway… and I‟d rather not look extra vulnerable… erm…
but, you know… there are times when I‟ve just got sick of that and worn a really
short skirt… and had a leg that obviously doesn‟t function properly (laughs)… and
people will tend to sort of gape at me… and I‟ve had a lot of old men come up and