A thesis submitted in partial fulfilment of - Etheses - Queen Margaret ...

We get a different picture of Ben here. From the tense, stressed-out man with autism freaked
out by disabling distractions as he hurries from one platform to the other – managing to keep
a hold on things only with considerable effort – we now regard somebody at home with
himself and in his own body, heading for Coventry, tuned in to tranquillity.
Conclusion
Max Van Manen has stated that lived experience has a temporal structure which can never be
grasped in its immediate manifestation but only reflectively as past presence:
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Our appropriation of lived experience is always of something that can never be
grasped in its full richness and depth since lived experience implicates the totality of
life (Van Manen, 1990:36).
Of necessity the snapshots I have discussed in this chapter have been partial representations
of the events I was present at as an observer. I have relied upon notes of statements, objects,
occurrences, fleeting images jotted down at the time as they appeared, and on transcriptions
of reflective discussions anticipating and evaluating these events. I am aware of both the
limited nature of the descriptions I have given and of my analyses of these as accounts of the
particular moments I have focussed upon.
While I have discussed examples of the imposition of the disabled role, alienation and
affirmation within contexts of separate observations, within each observation it would have
been possible to discuss moments when each of these themes appeared as a possible focus
for consideration.
For example, I constructed my discussion of going with Charles for a meal to The Stag and
Rainbow to make a point about the alienation of the non-disabled waitresses there. This
necessarily meant omitting many other details occurring and things we talked about during
the evening. It would have been equally possible to have highlighted other moments in order
to consider the imposition of the disabled role or examples of Charles‟ affirmation of self.
While I constructed my discussion of my observation with Mary as a reflection upon the
imposition of the disabled role, I could have highlighted the alienation of other characters
appearing, or moments of affirmation; and so on.
In describing writing about lived experience, Van Manen talks about a passage by Jean Paul
Sartre entitled „The Look‟, in which Sartre attempts to convey a sense not just of what it is
like to spy on someone but also what it is like to be seen looking at someone in this manner: