A thesis submitted in partial fulfilment of - Etheses - Queen Margaret ...

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I saw the other disabled kids and knew that I was now identified with them…and yet I
didn‟t feel that I belonged to them… was I disabled, or was I normal... you know… I
would push kids around in their chairs and do things for them because, although I had
a lot of pain and I had a lot of issues around stamina, and I was often ill, I was fully
mobile… (l.1.30ff.)
The range and levels of impairments in special schools can lead to frustration and
resentment about what is and is not expected. Roshni reflects on the lack of opportunities to
mix with others she could relate to easily:
when I went to school, obviously I knew that I went to a special school… cos I went
to school for the visually impaired for my primary part of my schooling and… so I
was aware again of a difference but it was very subtle, because even then I think I
saw myself as very different from the other children… because there was nobody
even in that environment that I identified with, because a lot of the other children
had complex needs… (l.1.123ff.)
Sarah recounts the way in which she was used as an example to others but felt there was
nobody for her to identify with:
I started off being able to use cutlery and they put me at a table with people who
couldn‟t eat and stuff… couldn‟t eat themselves… and what they said to my mum
was “Well, we‟ve put Sarah with people who can‟t eat as well to bring them on…”
my argument is, even now, who was there to bring me on... who‟s there to inspire
me... who‟s there to make me think “I can do that”… (l.1.288ff.)
Friendship is an important aspect of children‟s emotional development, one which ideally
provides space to learn about self through seeing oneself reflected in others, as well as
providing a range of opportunities to test out identities. William Corsaro comments that
children‟s social identities are oriented toward alliances with other children (Corsaro,
1997:168). Being situated in a place where one has been removed from what one knows yet
does not feel one belongs is an isolating experience for children. When to this is added the
fact that little explanation is given for this situation, it makes sense to reason that the
growing awareness of personal difference and distance from others is likely to be
experienced negatively.