A thesis submitted in partial fulfilment of - Etheses - Queen Margaret ...
A thesis submitted in partial fulfilment of - Etheses - Queen Margaret ...
A thesis submitted in partial fulfilment of - Etheses - Queen Margaret ...
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ecognises the disabl<strong>in</strong>g requirements that exist <strong>in</strong> many workplaces and says she will not<br />
put herself <strong>in</strong>to work situations which she knows would damage her health. Helen talks<br />
about a comment made by one <strong>of</strong> her colleagues:<br />
235<br />
...but I th<strong>in</strong>k it‟s like she was say<strong>in</strong>g, if you want to do someth<strong>in</strong>g different from the<br />
normal expectation it‟s as if you‟re do<strong>in</strong>g someth<strong>in</strong>g really controversial… why is it<br />
controversial to want to do someth<strong>in</strong>g that‟s better for yourself… and I th<strong>in</strong>k it‟s<br />
almost that I‟ve had to become… well, if not exactly militant then very firm <strong>in</strong> my<br />
view <strong>of</strong> what works for me… and to be will<strong>in</strong>g to stick to that because when you<br />
keep com<strong>in</strong>g up aga<strong>in</strong>st people who say well, are you sure… I go well, yeah, I am<br />
sure… just because it‟s not how you would do it doesn‟t make it wrong… I th<strong>in</strong>k<br />
that‟s the th<strong>in</strong>g that, like, if people showed appreciation <strong>of</strong> the fact that people just<br />
do th<strong>in</strong>gs <strong>in</strong> different ways it would be very helpful… (l.521ff.)<br />
At the same time as Helen affirms her rights to recognise her own needs as somebody with<br />
an emotional impairment, she rejects the disabled role. She rejects an identification <strong>of</strong> herself<br />
as somebody unwell or <strong>in</strong>ferior and she rejects the pressure to aspire to normality. But she<br />
also identifies the necessity to rema<strong>in</strong> strong <strong>in</strong> this perspective <strong>in</strong> the face <strong>of</strong> disabl<strong>in</strong>g<br />
judgements which will always question her right to regard her situation <strong>in</strong> this way. Helen<br />
ends up by assert<strong>in</strong>g and affirm<strong>in</strong>g the right to do th<strong>in</strong>gs differently.<br />
I sometimes feel that other people feel that maybe I should… and that maybe I<br />
should keep my mouth shut… and not try to mark myself out… but to me it‟s not<br />
that I‟m try<strong>in</strong>g to mark myself out, it‟s that I‟m try<strong>in</strong>g to make it more normal… so<br />
that it‟s more acceptable so that it is easier for everybody… (l.3:480ff.)<br />
Her experience is that she will be generally expected to keep quiet about her difference. As<br />
somebody with a hidden impairment, she is encouraged to try to pass as non-disabled and<br />
avoid the stigma attached to mental health issues. Her attitude is dismissed as attention-<br />
seek<strong>in</strong>g. Yet for Helen, this is a matter <strong>of</strong> try<strong>in</strong>g to demystify issues around mental health<br />
issues, <strong>of</strong> try<strong>in</strong>g to establish that this is a fairly ord<strong>in</strong>ary part <strong>of</strong> human experience.<br />
Jennie: Work<br />
Jennie took me <strong>in</strong>to her work area, a small, high ceil<strong>in</strong>ged cluttered room <strong>of</strong>f the ma<strong>in</strong> liv<strong>in</strong>g<br />
room <strong>in</strong> her shared Glasgow flat. Most <strong>of</strong> the space was taken up by an old <strong>of</strong>fice desk. On<br />
the desk, among a mass <strong>of</strong> papers, a p.c., and a a dictaphone for <strong>in</strong>terviews, there was a half-<br />
f<strong>in</strong>ished bottle <strong>of</strong> Irn Bru, a bottle <strong>of</strong> water and a bag <strong>of</strong> g<strong>in</strong>ger. The walls were l<strong>in</strong>ed with