artć + societate / arts + society #38, 2011 20 lei / 11 €, 14 USD - idea

Dar nu se mai gæsesc vinuri ieftine.
Lenenergo creøte iar preflul electricitæflii.
Tricourile intræ la apæ dupæ prima spælare.
Tot felul de nenorocifli mæ cer în cæsætorie, dar nu øi omul cu care
mi-ar plæcea sæ mæ mærit.
Magazinele de pantofi n-au niciodatæ mærimea 35.
Instalatorii beau tot timpul.
Existæ un „r” în numele oraøului nostru,
O literæ pe care eu n-o pot pronunfla.
Din salariu nu-fli pofli cumpæra mare brînzæ.
Opera e atît de scumpæ – nu mæ mai pot duce acolo!
De ce nu mæ viziteazæ iubitul meu noaptea?
Fiindcæ podurile peste Neva sînt ridicate.
De la Neva la Moika arhitectura e finæ –
Dar din fereastra mea se væd numai mormane de gunoaie.
Cîteodatæ mæ-ngraø øi nu mæ mai încap fustele,
Sau slæbesc øi devin atît de uøoaræ încît
Ascensorul nu porneøte cînd sînt singuræ înæuntru.
O, îmi place sæ cînt!
Dar n-am ureche muzicalæ!
De ce oare? De parcæ mi-ar fi cælcat un urs pe ureche!
Centrul liniøtit al oraøului e tot mai zgomotos,
Toatæ lumea încearcæ sæ evite ambuteiajele tranzitînd prin curtea mea!
Programatoarele nu sînt luate în serios!
Sînt minflite cæ nu sînt posturi pentru ele.
Mereu îmi pierd bricheta,
Øi nu-fli pofli aprinde fligara de la Focul Etern!
Bærbaflii sînt astæzi tofli niøte gigolo,
Iar noi trebuie sæ plætim pentru toate nevoile netrebnicilor æstora.
Arta modernæ n-are nevoie de øcoli,
Øtiu sæ pictez pætratul lui Malevici pînæ øi beat.
Nu-i nevoie de cele trei diplome ale mele.
Uræsc sæ mæ trezesc devreme jumætate din viaflæ
Øi sæ-mi bat capul cu maøina cînd e încæ întuneric afaræ.
De ce oare acest oraø dureros de familiar
Creeazæ doar migrene øi plictisealæ?
Scærile rulante îmi rup tocurile,
Iar la TV se dau numai rahaturi... cum øtifli.
Vameøii de la granifla finlandezæ sînt foarte nepoliticoøi.
Apa îmi picuræ în cap prin tavan!
Øi rusa se stricæ!
Ce sæ facem deci? Cine e de vinæ?
De ce îmi cade pærul la 25 de ani?
De ce nu dæ Rolling Stones concerte øi la noi?
And she anyway wouldn’t love a poet like me.
I’d send her a rose in a vine glass like Blok,
But you don’t get cheap vine anymore.
Lenenergo is rising the electricity bills again.
T-shirts always shrink after the first wash.
Only jerks propose marriage to me, but never the man I would marry.
Shoe shops never sell size 35.
Plumbers drink all the time.
There’s a letter “R” in the name of this city –
A letter I cannot pronounce.
Your salary won’t buy you beer, nor cheese.
The opera is so expensive – can’t go there!
Why doesn’t my darling visit me at night?
Because the bridges of Neva are open every night.
From Neva to Moika the architecture is fine –
But from my window I see only garbage piles.
At times I gain weight and my skirts won’t fit
Or I lose the weight and become so light
That the elevator does not move when I am inside alone.
Oh, do I love singing!
But have no ear for it!
Why am I music-blind?
A bear stepped on my ear!
The quiet city center gets more and more noisy,
Everybody cuts short the traffic jams through my yard!
Female programmers are not taken serious!
They lie there are no jobs for them.
Every day I lose my lighter
And you can’t light your cigarette from the Eternal Fire!
Men are gigolos these days,
And we have to pay for all the needs of those bastards.
Modern art needs no education,
I can paint the square of Malevich even when I’m drunk.
There is no use of my three degrees.
I hate getting up early half of my life,
And mess around with my car when it’s still dark.
Why is this painfully familiar city
Causing only migraine and boredom?
The escalator broke my high heels.
And on the TV they play shit... like you know.
The customs on the Finish border are so impolite.
My ceiling is always leaking!
And Russian language is getting spoiled!
So what shall we do and who is to blame?
Why am I losing my hair at 25?
Why don’t the Rolling Stones come to play here?
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