E-Book of Articles - World Federation of Music Therapy

Sutton, Julie; Beyond the Ordinairy
Bowlby considered the earliest relationships from infancy into childhood had
a central survival function, enabling the developing child to feel safe and
protected 33 . It would be impossible for the adults in these relationships to
have created a constant state of security for the infant. Bowlby wrote in
detail about the result of developmental changes in infant perception from
feeling safe to feeling unsafe, particularly focusing on the sense of loss of
safe attachment and its implications for later life.
Stern also considered how the two participants in the first relationship
brought their individual life experiences to the interaction 34 . Here, for
instance, through her own developed patterns of response, mother passed
on to her child her experience of her mother. However conscious the adult
is of the experience, and however they aim to protect the infant from this,
they still have the memory of their own losses at the unconscious level.
While in altered form, this inherited experience passes through generations.
Winnicott wrote aptly of this dilemma,
"She [mother] was a baby once, and she has in her memories of
having been a baby; she also has memories of having been cared for, and
these memories either help or hinder her in her own experience as a
mother." 35
If we think back to Jerry's story we can deepen our understanding of his
experiences of an underlying state of uncertainty, both within his
community and in the family home. Jerry's parents did not discuss their
fears with their two children in order to protect them from these terrors.
This is totally understandable and not at all an uncommon response within
families. This was further magnified by the collective protecting mechanism
of community silence. However, it is not difficult to imagine what had to be
contained silently whenever Jerry's Dad was late home from work. Keeping
33 Bowlby, J. (1988) A Secure Base London, Tavistock
34 Stern, D. (1977) The First Relationship USA, Harvard University Press
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