Red_Roses_and_Black_Dahlias_-_Macy_T

Over the years and the numerous arrests I’d gone through, I encountered
various versions of Maddox.
I’d seen him angry and screaming, worried, disappointed, wary, even
amused sometimes. But all these times, he communicated his emotions
through words.
The version of Maddox I had in front of me right now, however, was not
speaking. In fact, he had barely spoken a word to me since he came back
from those woods with Valentina clutched in his arms.
The relief I’d felt when I saw him was tremendous. Being alone,
handcuffed and locked inside that car as I watched those officers pacify the
blond gang and not care about my sister discreetly running away, I never felt
so helpless.
Do you know that feeling of powerlessness when you know a disaster is
coming, you’re watching it arrive, but you can’t prevent it?
I'd screamed my throat raw in that car. Nobody heard me.
I yelled at them that a nine year old little girl had just disappeared inside
the woods even as night would soon come, but no one heard me. That just
reinforced my idea that Valentina and I were made to be alone. That nobody
could care for her as much as I did.
But then Maddox came into the picture and I could see from the car
window how angry he got as soon as he saw Valentina was missing. It took
him less than a minute, but by then she’d been gone for almost twenty.
When he went inside the woods, I found it easier to breathe. Worry still
twisted my gut, of course, but less than before, because somewhat, deep
inside, I just knew I could count on Maddox to bring my baby back.
And what a weird, unusual feeling. To be able to rely on someone.