Red_Roses_and_Black_Dahlias_-_Macy_T

helping me stay on my feet, my soaped up hand slipped and I landed on my
ass, shampoo and body wash bottles splattering around me. My hands were
shaking and I just brought my knees back to my chest as I hid my face
between them, sob after sob escaping me.
My mind was a whirlwind of sounds. Screams, moans of agony, cries.
The squelchy sound of a knife sinking through flesh and bloody gurgling. It
felt like my head was underwater and I couldn’t even hear the rustling of the
shower anymore. Nor did I hear the soft knocks on the bathroom door. I was
too caught up in memories to pay attention when the door finally opened and
Maddox came in, looking worried. The noise the bottles made when falling
probably alerted him.
I looked up from my knees and saw his lips moving, but I couldn’t for the
life of me make out what he was saying. He opened the fogged up shower
door and immediately cut the water off. Somehow his presence made me
breathe a little easier, even though I was naked and should have felt mortified
that he saw me like that. Yet, there was nothing leering or sexual in the way
he was looking at me, he just looked worried and shocked.
I understood his shock, since he had never seen me cry in all the time I’d
known him. Not even when he brought me home after the first time I was
arrested at sixteen. My mother had slapped me in front of him and I was
humiliated and hurt, but I kept the tears for when I was alone in bed.
I was good at faking, I had to, and I had managed to keep it together
tonight, but now it felt like I was losing it, like I was losing years of pent up
and repressed feelings. Like a dam had broken and I couldn’t control them
anymore.
“Fuck.” I heard him mutter before he crouched in front of me without
entering the shower. “Sofia can you hear me?” I just stared blankly at him,
not answering.
I think a part of me wanted to scream that yes I was still there and I did
hear him, while another was so tired of everything and just wanted it to end. I
felt my eyes slowly droop close, when a hand— a strong, callused hand,
gripped my jaw.