1.5 - About University

M ETACOMMUNICATIONSCHEMATICProcess level----------------------➋______________➊ ➌Content levelThe exact wording is situational, but there are certain characteristics of an effective invitationto metacommunicate:✔✔✔✔A metacommunication starts by discontinuing communication at the current deadlock(the content level). Note that the behavior and frustration you are displaying yourselfand seeing in the other person are only symptoms of something more fundamental.Be careful about ascribing negative motives to another person’s behavior. People havehabitual ways of dealing with situations, and they are probably not conscious of theirown behavior or motives.Metacommunication invites the other to discuss the issue at a higher level (the processlevel). Discuss the communication difficulty, and establish some communicationguidelines or principles for dealing with the disagreement at hand.The assumption behind metacommunication is that there is goodwill on both sides,that difficulties are due to unclear assumptions and lack of clarity of process, ratherthan to any planned or intentional attempt to trick the other person.H OW TO USE THIS LEADERSHIP TOOL“Conversational style isn’t something extra, added on like frosting on a cake. It’s the very stuff of which thecommunication cake is made.”—Deborah Tannen, THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANTMost leaders will have plenty of opportunity to use this tool. When communication starts tobreak down in a workgroup, for example, it can deteriorate quite quickly. It can begin to feelas if every conversation is tense and ends in frustration. This downward spiral can often bereversed if one of the parties to these conversations stands back and identifies what is happeningin terms of the communication process itself. This is done by separating what is beingdiscussed (the content level) from how it is being discussed (the process level).WEB WORKSHEETMetacommunication doesn’t always work, but when it works, it works wonders! Use the worksheetprovided to plan metacommunications to improve any difficult communication thatyou are currently or may soon be involved with. This might include:1. situations in which you are expected to mediate disagreements within teams or workgroups;246 SECTION 8 TOOLS FOR COMMUNICATION