1.5 - About University

12.6 T HE 5 CS : ESCALATINGC ONFRONTATION J UDICIOUSLYInspired by David Irvine, William Purkey, and Abe Wagner.Leaders continually find themselves having to resolve people or performance problems,whether the person is taking inappropriate action or failing to take action. When facing peopleproblems, you can choose to confront those involved; stop dealing with them, or at leastminimize your dealings with them; or accept their behavior. This is easier said than done, however.This tool provides you with a number of logical, easy-to-follow steps for carrying outthese alternatives. The five steps are:Concern ➠ Confer ➠ Consult ➠ Confront ➠ ConcludeThese steps are incremental in nature, providing you with guidance for upping the antewith each successive step if the previous step failed to achieve the desired results. Dependingon the importance and urgency of the situation, the strength of your relationship with theother person, and how strongly you feel about the other person’s behavior, you may choose toskip some of these steps.➊ConcernDecide whetherthis is a concernor an annoyance.Decide whether the other person’s behavior is a concern that needs to be dealt with, or anannoyance that should be overlooked. If you feel you need to deal with the person’s behavior, askyourself, “Is there some action I can take to change or improve the situation?” If your answer is➟ “no,” then make the choice to let go emotionally. If you can’t emotionally let go, then disengage,or in some way minimize your interdependency with this person. If the answer is “yes,” move tostep 2, confer.➟➋ConferRaise concerndirectly withother person.Raise the concern directly with the other person, using these guidelines.• Pay attention to the importance of timing; choose a time when you think the other person willbe willing and able to hear your perspective. Get the other’s permission to raise the issue:“Would you be willing to hear some constructive feedback about how you handled thatsituation?”• Do this in private. Be clear and direct.➟• Describe, don’t evaluate. Describe what you saw or heard; do not judge or label the behavior.• Don’t assume motive. Don’t assume that you know the motive behind the behavior.• If you honestly can, give three positives and a request: “You’re always on time for meetings,you contribute openly, and you add a lot of fun to our meetings. My concern, however, is withhow you … .”➟➌ConsultRaise the stakes.If you still haven’t achieved the desired result, it’s time to raise the stakes one level. You are nowdiscussing two issues. One is the original problem that still exists; the other is that your request➟ (made when conferring) has been ignored.➟378 SECTION 12 TOOLS FOR LEADING RELATIONSHIPS