1.5 - About University

8.6C OMMUNICATION 101: DEALING E FFECTIVELYWITH F EELINGS AT W ORKInspired by Stephen Covey, Dave Irvine, Jon Katzenbach, Douglas Smith, and Deborah Tannen.By the very nature of their work, leaders must help others to work through the conflicts anddifficult emotions that inevitably arise in the course of working within groups, particularlygroups that often have to struggle with time and other work pressures. This tool provides arange of approaches and how-to’s for doing just that.Proactive Skills:❑ Establish ground rules early in your team’s formation. Taking preventative action isnearly always easier than dealing with problems. [☛ 10.8 Ground Rules]❑ Take time-outs to discuss how you are talking. From time to time, difficulties with communicationrequire metacommunication. [☛ 8.5 Metacommunicating]❑ Recognize your biases and assumptions; be cognizant of others’ assumptions, interpersonalstyle, biases, perspectives, and cultural differences. [☛ 6.2 Assumption Analysis,13.6 Attribution Theory]Listening Skills:❑ Rephrase or summarize before reacting. Most people handle critique of their ideas betterif they feel that the other person has at least heard them. Listening is your ticket totalk.❑ Listen at three levels: a) content—what is being said, b) process—how it is being dealtwith, and c) emotion—the other person’s feelings about the situation. [☛ 8.7 ActiveListening, 8.8 Listening Techniques]❑ Separate understanding from agreement. Understanding does not mean agreement.Feedback Skills:❑ Feedback is usually better received when it is a) factual (use concrete examples); b) specific;c) descriptive of your own feelings (not what you think the other person is feeling);and d) given soon after the feedback incident. [☛ 12.4 Feedback]❑ Recognize people when they say or do something you appreciate. People will acceptnegative feedback better from a person who also gives positive feedback. [☛ 12.5Negative Feedback]❑ As a leader, model receiving feedback openly and nondefensively. Feedback is given inproportion to how well it is received. Rationalizing feedback or explaining away thebehavior will usually be perceived as defensive. [☛ 15.6 Defenses]❑ Praise in public; reprimand in private. Understandably, adults will defend their selfesteemand reputation beyond all else.248 SECTION 8 TOOLS FOR COMMUNICATION