1.5 - About University

12.7 C ONFLICT: FIVE L EVELS FORD EALING WITH C ONFLICTInspired by Thomas Crum, Roger Fisher, Elizabeth Kopelman, Andrea Kupfer Schneider,David Irvine, and Bernie Novokowsky.Expecting all conflict to end in complete resolution is a good way to stay frustrated as a leader.Conflict can be dealt with at many levels, starting with the most idealistic (complete andjoint resolution) to the least effective (suffering in silence).Resolution Expectation & What isstrategies goals needed? Steps required ChallengesLevel ➊Complete andJoint Resolution“Forgive and let goemotionally.”• Completeresolution.• You and otherscome to anemotional,practical, andsatisfying longtermresolution.• People willing towork the resolutionprocess and toforgive and forget.• Often, a highlyemotional processimpacting corevalues and beliefs.• Clarifyexpectations of theprocess.• Explore needs,assumptions,values, emotions,and styledifferences.• Focus on jointinterests and newoptions.• Agree on newbehaviors.[☛ 2.5 Values]• Often talked about,but rarely achievedand practiced.(Many religionspropose this level offorgiveness.)• Need to be tolerantof accidentalslippage inagreements.[☛ 15.2 EmotionalIntelligence]Level ➋JointManagement ofthe Conflict“We agree todisagree, and willjointly live withour differences.”• A workingrelationship.• “I’m okay, you’reokay—with warts.”• Reduce the conflictto an acceptablelevel and workaround it.• Understand wherethe other person isat.• Willingness tocontinue talking.• Willingness tomaintain workingrelationship.• Willingness toagree to just lettingthe issue be.• Reconciledifferences.• Compromise andfind neutralground.• Agreements aremade at the levelof behavioral andbusiness outcomes.• Often helpful tohave a third-partyfacilitator.[☛ 13.3Accountability]• Sometimes,communication isthe problem. Whenthis is so, it isdifficult to resolvecommunicationproblems by havingmorecommunication.• Being accepting ofother person’sbehavior withoutcompromisingpersonal values.[☛ 8.5Metacommunicating]SECTION 12 TOOLS FOR LEADING RELATIONSHIPS 381