1.5 - About University

12.5 P REPARING Y OURSELF TOG IVE N EGATIVE F EEDBACKInspired by Sidney Simon and Dave Irvine.Giving negative feedback is demanding work, yet something leaders must do on a regular basis.It requires that you:✔✔✔✔✔✔✔Be able to tolerate the discomfort that comes with confronting others directly.Be able to do without approval from others.Be aware of your own personal power, and of how your behavior affects others.Understand and start within the other person’s frame of reference or perspective.Approach the other person in terms of the present problem, rather than in terms ofanger or past problems.Challenge the other person to improved performance or behavior.Provide the supports necessary (e.g., time, a level of trust) for the other person to makeneeded improvements, even though doing so may require a degree of risk.Leaders need to ask themselves these questions prior to confronting others:? Are you in an appropriate mood or attitude togive direct, honest, empathetic feedback?Leaders who are angry or feeling a low senseBad dog!of self-esteem frequently fail to give appropriatefeedback.– Their feedback tends to be evaluative andDo I Do want I want tohear hear this? this?judgmental, rather than data-based.– They tend to feel and act defensively andtake other people’s behavior personally,even though this behavior was not intendedpersonally.– They tend to discount or overlook theinterests of others.– They may have unrealistically high expectations of others.[☛12.1 The Relationship Bank, 13.6 Attribution Theory, 15.4 Ladder of Inference]? Is the other person in the right mood to hear what you have to say?– Timing is important. Ensure that this is a good time and place for the other personto hear your feedback and to discuss the issues that concern you.? Can the person receiving your feedback do anything about it?SECTION 12 TOOLS FOR LEADING RELATIONSHIPS 375