1.5 - About University

Level ➌PersonalManagement ofthe Conflict“I’ll just live withit.”• You change yourbehavior.• You refuse to bedrawn into theconflict.• You unilaterallychange yourresponse to redflags.• Willingness tochange one’sbehaviorunilaterally.• Ability to controlone’s own behavior(“No one can makeme angry”).• Often, counselingor a workshop ishelpful to improveperspective ordevelop skills.[☛ 15.2 EmotionalIntelligence]• People may not beable to live with thefact that theirantagonists do nothave to change also.Level ➍Separation orDistancing“You go your way,and I’ll go mine.”• If the conflictcannot bemanaged, anoption isseparating ordistancing thepersons involvedin the conflict.• Be able to workindependentlyfrom each other.• Often,management needsto be involved toapprove theseparation of rolesand eliminateinterdependence.• By virtue of theirroles, people may berequired to worktogether. In thiscase, one personmay have to leavethe organization.Level ➎Suffering“I’ll play themartyr.”• Obtain satisfactionby complaining orby passivelyresisting.• A stoical or easygoingphilosophy.• Willingness to livein an atmosphereof suppressed angerand tension.• Ability tosupplementemotions withproductive workand otherdistractions.• Can be a depressingoption in the longrun.H OW TO USE THIS LEADERSHIP TOOL“I was angry with my friend.I told my wrath; my wrath did end.I was angry with my foe.I told it not; my wrath did grow.”—William BlakeIf you’re not careful, as a leader you might find yourself going home at night worn out fromdealing with conflicts, whether petty annoyances or deep-seated differences of opinion. Mostof us are personally uneasy with conflict. This tool can lift a load from your shoulders by providingyou with a wider range of options than simply demanding complete resolution or livingin anger.Think of two or three conflict situations in your workgroup or organization. What level ofresolution might be most appropriate given the unique circumstances of each situation? Usethe workspace provided to plan how you might work toward closure in each of these conflictsituations.382 SECTION 12 TOOLS FOR LEADING RELATIONSHIPS