1.5 - About University

can speak, use the extra processing time to listen intently for the emotion in the situation.One way to encourage people to express their emotions is to name them: “Itseems that you get frustrated when … .” It’s difficult to solve problems rationally, andimpossible to reach true consensus, if emotions are being disguised or not allowed honestexpression.H OW TO USE THIS LEADERSHIP TOOL“… a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.”—Simon and Garfunkel, “THE BOXER”After you have completed this self-assessment, ask a few coworkers to rate you on your listeningskills. Then compare their ratings with your own.WEB WORKSHEETRate yourself from 1 = Needs a lot of improvement, to 5 = A definite strength.1. Setting the physical and mental stage for good listening:1 2 3 4 5 I do not allow the telephone to interfere with listening.1 2 3 4 5 Before a meeting, I make notes about what I want to say, so during the meeting Ican concentrate on what others are saying.1 2 3 4 5 During a meeting, I make notes about how I want to respond, keeping my mindfree during the meeting to hear the other person’s words.1 2 3 4 5 I seat myself in a way that encourages listening.1 2 3 4 5 I realize most people can only keep about seven items in their short-term memoryat any one time.2. Listening with my eyes:1 2 3 4 5 I make eye contact early and maintain an appropriate level of eye contact.1 2 3 4 5 I am conscious of and sensitive to another person’s nonverbal behaviors.1 2 3 4 5 I use nonverbal clues to help me assess appropriate replies.1 2 3 4 5 I am conscious of cultural differences in nonverbal behavior, particularly eye contact.3. Appropriate silence:1 2 3 4 5 I give others time to complete their thoughts.1 2 3 4 5 I give others airtime.1 2 3 4 5 I am conscious of and okay with periods of silence.1 2 3 4 5 I can remain silent to help others formulate and state deeper thoughts and feelings.4. Asking good questions:1 2 3 4 5 I ask questions to show that I am listening.1 2 3 4 5 I ask questions to help others talk through issues.1 2 3 4 5 I am aware of the range of questions, from closed-ended to open-ended, and knowwhen to use them.252 SECTION 8 TOOLS FOR COMMUNICATION