SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT GARDENING 101
going 90 miles an hour for the last couple of minutes. Heart pounding, he
pulls onto the shoulder, with the highway patrol car pulling off just ahead.
The officer gets out and walks back to Bob’s window.
OFFICER: Where you headed, sir?
BOB:
To Chicago actually, to visit my mother.
OFFICER: You were going a little fast.
BOB:
I’m so sorry. I had cruise control set to 75, the speed limit,
and I was listening to a podcast and got so excited I must have
accidentally put my foot on the accelerator.
OFFICER: What podcast?
BOB:
The Joe Gardener Show.
OFFICER: Joe Lamp’l? “Organic Gardening Like a Pro”?
BOB:
That’s the one. You know about him?
OFFICER: Which episode?
BOB:
This one’s called “Hydrangea Care for Late Winter: Pro Tips
for Pruning and More, With Lorraine Ballato.”
OFFICER: (smiling broadly)
Ah. Well. You want to prune your Big Leaf Hydrangea during
the summer, after the flowers have started fading but before