SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

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220 QUIPPERY / SEEDS & WEEDSGot a plastictrash bag andgloves. Theysuggesteddisposable gloves,but I didn’t haveany, so I wore skigloves. Just kidding,I wore gardeninggloves.I dug thosesuckers out, “roots”and all. The “roots”look like small whiteeggs and there werea lot of them. I kindof felt like a goldminer digging fornuggets of gold,except I hated thefreaking gold I found.I put everything I dug up into a plastic bag.I tied it up and threw it in the trash, not in the compost bin or with
THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT GARDENING 221other yard scrap waste, in the trash.Some people recommend boiling water and bleach to get rid of theremaining spores, but I didn’t do that because . . . boiling water andbleach.Then I left my gloves and trowel in the sun to roast all that lingeringnasty sporey fungus off.I’ve looked back in my garden every day to see if any stinkhorns grewthat I had missed. I found a few and dug those up and threw them away.Actually, I just threw them in the middle of my driveway to die and roastbecause I was too lazy to get a trash bag.That was last week.We had another heavy rain two nights ago and wouldn’t you know it,those freaking things came back with a vengeance. I dug their little flyinfested,stinking souls out of the ground again. This time, I relented andgot the boiling water out along with a trash bag. But, being my lazy self, Ijust hit one small area with the water and decided to see how the rest goeswith just being removed and tossed in the trash — at least I didn’t leavethem in the middle of the driveway this time.I went out five minutes ago to check again. I only saw two smallStinkhorns which I quickly removed. And that was all great, but then Ifound THIS! What the heck are these?!? [See next page . . .]
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Also from QuipperyAnd more books on
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Quippery LLCFairfield, Iowa 52557 U
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TABLE OF CONTENTSIs Gardening For Y
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THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAI
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Is Gardening For You?One in three A
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Getting Startedfrom The OnionTips F
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Tools of the TiradeGardening requir
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Deciding What to PlantStarting your
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The Plant Passion Testfrom David Ho
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Page 203 and 204: Insects and OtherInpestationsMosqui
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Page 225 and 226: Gardening HazardsThe letters of the
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The Great Kale InhaleHot dogs, hamb
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Carrots in LoveOf all the things th
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Return on InvestmentThe first tweet
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AcknowledgementsGreat thanks to the
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Also from QuipperyAnd more Quippery
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SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

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