SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT GARDENING 113
6. Worms are:
(a) Mildly disgusting though probably necessary invertebrates that exist
somewhere near the bottom of the Evolutionary Ladder of Social Progress
and Civilized Deportment.
(b) The things responsible for creating those swirly patterns that highlight
the veneer of your triumphantly expensive faux antique coffee table.
(c) Bait, or more to the point, your Ex. Hopefully both.
(d) Saviors of the soil and among your favorite creatures. You are careful
not to hurt them with shovels and you always pick them off hot sidewalks
and return them to the nearest dirt patch.
(e) Catching.
7. Woodchucks are:
(a) Mammals of the order Rodentia, characterized by an insufferable
propensity to undermine the flooring beneath the winetasting gazebo,
thus scaring the wits out of poor Muffy.
(b) Those little scorekeeping pins you use on cribbage boards probably.
(c) Your uncle Gomer’s favorite moving targets, not to mention dinner
and hat material.