SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

192 QUIPPERY / SEEDS & WEEDS
from The Onion
NEWS IN BRIEF
Dad Can’t Believe Lawn Didn’t Get Him Anything for
Father’s Day
WINCHESTER, VA — Telling reporters that he can’t help but feel a little
hurt, 52-year-old local father Trevor Jackson expressed his surprise and
disappointment Sunday that his lawn didn’t bother to get him anything
for Father’s Day this year. “It’s not like I expect a big production on
Father’s Day or anything, but I guess I thought my lawn would get me
some sort of little present — a card, at the very least,” said Jackson,
adding that as the day went on, he slowly realized he wouldn’t be
receiving any kind of gift at all from the grass in his front yard. “I care for
it, I buy it anything it needs, I spend every weekend with it, and on the
one day that’s supposed to be about me, I don’t even get so much as a
‘Happy Father’s Day’ greeting. I mean, would it kill my lawn to show me
just a little appreciation once a year?” Despite his initial frustration,
Jackson later confirmed that taking care of his lawn is its own reward,
and he was happy to simply have a quiet Sunday afternoon together with
the patch of fertilized grass.