SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

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252 QUIPPERY / SEEDS & WEEDSHardyTenderSurvives adverse conditions in anyoneelse’s gardenMagnet for deer and rabbits and insectsFrom Henry Beard, A Gardener’s DictionaryHenry Beard is the American humorist and author who helped found themagazine National Lampoon. In his book A Gardener’s Dictionary, heoffers his own wry take on key gardening terms:Annual — Any plant that dies before blooming. See PERENNIAL.Autumn — Delightful season that runs from the disposal of the lastzucchini to the arrival of the first catalog.Bulb — Potential flower buried in autumn, never to be seen again.Eggplant — Purplish, meaty vegetable whose taste when cooked — whichdepends considerably on the method of preparation, and there are many— has been variously compared to burnt liver, fried sandals, scorchedclams, a wallet, old magazines, and mud.
THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT GARDENING 253Hoeing — A manual method of severing roots from stems of newlyplanted flowers and vegetables.Hose — Crude, but effective and totally safe type of scythe towed throughgardens to flatten flower beds and level vegetable plantings.Perennial — any plant which, had it lived, would have bloomed year afteryear. See ANNUAL.Seed — Costly, but highly nutritious form of bird food sold in handsomepackets printed with colorful pictures of flowers and vegetables.Zucchini — The only vegetable with its own ZIP code.
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Quippery LLCFairfield, Iowa 52557 U
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TABLE OF CONTENTSIs Gardening For Y
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THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAI
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Is Gardening For You?One in three A
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Getting Startedfrom The OnionTips F
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Tools of the TiradeGardening requir
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Deciding What to PlantStarting your
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The Plant Passion Testfrom David Ho
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Page 203 and 204: Insects and OtherInpestationsMosqui
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The Great Kale InhaleHot dogs, hamb
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Carrots in LoveOf all the things th
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Return on InvestmentThe first tweet
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AcknowledgementsGreat thanks to the
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Also from QuipperyAnd more Quippery
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