SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

138 QUIPPERY / SEEDS & WEEDS
“You kids!” he snorted over his shoulder. “Turn sixty and think that
you know everything!”
Random selection
My mother-in-law loves to cook, and my father-in-law loves gardening.
One day she needed an onion and went to the mesh bag he had hung
near the back door to get one.
They both found the resultant dish tasty — but different. The next
morning, as he reached for the mesh bag, Dad announced that he had
better plant those tulip bulbs before it rained.
Note: Do not try this at home unless you relish tummy aches.
Heated competition
Strolling past old-world gardens in Nanaimo, British Columbia, I stopped
to chat with an elderly man tending his rose bushes.
“I won first prize in our garden-club competition last year,” he said.
Without rancor, he added, “I can’t enter this year because I’m
president. But I will again next year.”
I congratulated him, and said I was sure he’d win again with such
beautiful roses. “How many members do you compete against?” I asked.
“Just my friend next door. We take turns being president.”