SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

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250 QUIPPERY / SEEDS & WEEDSshovel — a highly efficient back-pain generator, sold as loss leaders bychiropractors, osteopaths, and massage therapists.sphagnum — a word most gardeners don’t even like to think about, letalone say out loud.sprinkling can — the proper but painfully slow way of applying water tothe roots of plants.weed — a plant that shouldn’t be there and has no plans to move.weeds — generally indigenous, native populations that gardeners seekforcibly to evict from the land.
THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT GARDENING 251What it says . . . and what it meansExperienced gardeners can spot the code phrases on seed packages and ingardening catalogs, magazines, and websites and understand what theyreally mean. Here’s your Quippery translation guide:What it says . . . What it really means . . .A favorite of birdsMore beautiful each yearZone 5 with addedprotectionMay require supportMoisture-lovingCarefreeVigorousAnnualsAvoid planting near cars, sidewalks, orclotheslinesUnsightlyVery riskyEngineering experience advisedPlant it in wetlandsYou’ll have no effect on this plant’svitalityInvasive speciesDisappointing for only one season
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Also from QuipperyAnd more books on
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Quippery LLCFairfield, Iowa 52557 U
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TABLE OF CONTENTSIs Gardening For Y
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THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAI
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Is Gardening For You?One in three A
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Getting Startedfrom The OnionTips F
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Tools of the TiradeGardening requir
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Deciding What to PlantStarting your
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The Plant Passion Testfrom David Ho
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Page 203 and 204: Insects and OtherInpestationsMosqui
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Page 241 and 242: Zucchini ZooZucchini to Feed the Ma
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The Great Kale InhaleHot dogs, hamb
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Carrots in LoveOf all the things th
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Return on InvestmentThe first tweet
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AcknowledgementsGreat thanks to the
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Also from QuipperyAnd more Quippery
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SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

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