SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

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274 QUIPPERY / SEEDS & WEEDSMy wife is furious at our next-door neighbor who sunbathes nude in hergarden.Personally, I’m on the fence.I have a birdfeeder in the garden.It also works as a cat feeder.Q: How did the millionaire gardener get rich so quick?A: He was running a huge pansy scheme.Q: Why is the Incredible Hulk such a good gardener?A: He’s got green fingers.Q: We’ve got his and hers bathrooms, his and hers cars, his and hers bankaccounts — so what would we have if there were his and hers gardensheds?A: He shed she shed.
THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT GARDENING 275I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from gardens.I was raking it in.Yet again, someone has added more soil to my allotmentThe plot thickens. . . .
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Also from QuipperyAnd more books on
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Quippery LLCFairfield, Iowa 52557 U
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TABLE OF CONTENTSIs Gardening For Y
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THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAI
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Is Gardening For You?One in three A
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Getting Startedfrom The OnionTips F
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Tools of the TiradeGardening requir
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Deciding What to PlantStarting your
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The Plant Passion Testfrom David Ho
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Insects and OtherInpestationsMosqui
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Phallic Fungus:Getting Stinkhorn Ou
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Return on InvestmentThe first tweet
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AcknowledgementsGreat thanks to the
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Also from QuipperyAnd more Quippery
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