SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

250 QUIPPERY / SEEDS & WEEDS
shovel — a highly efficient back-pain generator, sold as loss leaders by
chiropractors, osteopaths, and massage therapists.
sphagnum — a word most gardeners don’t even like to think about, let
alone say out loud.
sprinkling can — the proper but painfully slow way of applying water to
the roots of plants.
weed — a plant that shouldn’t be there and has no plans to move.
weeds — generally indigenous, native populations that gardeners seek
forcibly to evict from the land.