SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

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Parsley, Sage,Rosemary, & RhymeThis poem is attributed to Lady Maconochie of Inverewe. Inverewe is abotanical garden in the Scottish Highlands. She scorns visitors who makeoff with plants and cuttings, pronouncing curses on their gardens.The Gardener’s CurseAwake, my muse, bring bell and bookTo curse the hand that cuttings took.May every sort of garden pestHis little plot of ground infestWho stole the plants from Inverewe,From Falkland Place, Grathes too.Let caterpillars, capsid bugs,Leafhoppers, thrips, all sorts of slugs,Play havoc with his garden plot,And a late frost destroy the lot.
THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT GARDENING 67Cabbage always has a heartCabbage always has a heart,Green beans string along.You’re such a Tomato,Will you Peas to me belong?You’ve been the Apple of my eye,You know how much I care.So Lettuce get together,We’d make a perfect Pear.Now, something’s sure to Turnip,To prove you can’t be Beet.So, if you Carrot all for meLet’s let our Tulips meet.Don’t Squash my hopes and dreams now,Bee my Honey, dear,Or tears will fill Potato’s eyes,While Sweet Corn lends an ear.I’ll Cauliflower shop and sayYour dreams are Parsley mine.I’ll work and share my Celery,So be my Valentine.— Unknown
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Also from QuipperyAnd more books on
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Quippery LLCFairfield, Iowa 52557 U
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TABLE OF CONTENTSIs Gardening For Y
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THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAI
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Is Gardening For You?One in three A
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Page 25 and 26: Getting Startedfrom The OnionTips F
Page 27 and 28: Tools of the TiradeGardening requir
Page 51 and 52: Deciding What to PlantStarting your
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The Plant Passion Testfrom David Ho
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Insects and OtherInpestationsMosqui
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Phallic Fungus:Getting Stinkhorn Ou
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Gardening HazardsThe letters of the
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Zucchini ZooZucchini to Feed the Ma
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REPotted
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The Great Kale InhaleHot dogs, hamb
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Carrots in LoveOf all the things th
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Return on InvestmentThe first tweet
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AcknowledgementsGreat thanks to the
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Also from QuipperyAnd more Quippery
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SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

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