SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT GARDENING 265
Objects or events
Non-gardener
perception or response
Gardener perception
or response
Wild violets in the
lawn
5” tall front yard
grass
Two cubic yards of
clean, composted
cow manure
“Horrors! Grab the weed
killer!”
Shame, stay indoors, pull
down the shades
Twenty cubic yards of
freshly dropped cow
manure
“Hooray! Grab the camera.”
Healthy, green grass at the
perfect height
Two cubic yards that
guarantee a great garden
Hanging plants Décor Hanging cuttings, waiting to
be plucked
Car Status symbol Something used to haul
plants and mulch
Plastic plant Plant Oxymoron
Someone planting a
rhododendron in
full sun
Someone planting a plant Someone inflicting cruel and
unusual punishment
Someone wiring a
bonsai
Someone inflicting cruel
and unusual punishment
A master artisan helping a
plant reach perfection