SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

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26 QUIPPERY / SEEDS & WEEDSdibber, and the Olympic torch dibber. A TV remotedibber is expected soon.Then the competition in the dibber spaceexploded. Angel investors swarmed thecountry, hither and thither,unditheringly ready to delivermillions to any daftdibber idea.Some companiesrebranded thedibber. First came theDoober TM and then theDeeber TM . (The nameDweeber remains available).Both Doobers and Deebers came in gardenthemedcolors — raspberry red, kale green, pumpkin orange, and eleganteggplant black.Then Dilbert comic strip artist Scott Adams and his merchandisers,sensing a chance to expand beyond Dilbert t-shirts, mugs, neckties, andtoilet augers, brought the Dilbert Dibber to market with great fanfare.But none of these were true innovations. Even Dilbert’s internationalname recognition proved no match for the aggressive dibble innovatorwho grabbed yards of garden center shelf space when she created the fast-
THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT GARDENING 27acting dibber, the extra strength dibber, the lowfatdibber, and the unscented dibber. Currently indevelopment: the cheese crust dibber.But just as she was about to commandeer thedibber market, some enterprising Stanfordstudents, working in their dorm rooms, developedan app that connected dibber users worldwidethrough their dibbers. Successive upgradesenabled gardeners to test their soil . . . test theirpregnancy status . . . even test whether it’s rainingand signal gardeners to go inside.With each new development, giddy gardeners gathered in groupsoutside garden centers for days ahead of the release.Even non-gardeners lined up to acquire them.But then came the game-changer. The definitivedibber disrupter.A ninth-grade girl in Del Rio, Texas, for her scienceproject, developed a fully digital, fully self-dibbering dibber.Every comfort and safety feature had been seamlesslyintegrated, even enabling gardeners to start their dibbersremotely, so they were warmed up by the time they got totheir gardens. Hers was a concept no one had everconceptualized.
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Page 9 and 10: TABLE OF CONTENTSIs Gardening For Y
Page 11 and 12: THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAI
Page 13 and 14: Is Gardening For You?One in three A
Page 25 and 26: Getting Startedfrom The OnionTips F
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The Plant Passion Testfrom David Ho
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Insects and OtherInpestationsMosqui
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Phallic Fungus:Getting Stinkhorn Ou
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Gardening HazardsThe letters of the
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Zucchini ZooZucchini to Feed the Ma
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REPotted
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The Great Kale InhaleHot dogs, hamb
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Carrots in LoveOf all the things th
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Return on InvestmentThe first tweet
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AcknowledgementsGreat thanks to the
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Also from QuipperyAnd more Quippery
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