SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

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Natural Laws of GardeningDay follows night. Spring follows winter. Death follows taxes. Everywherewe find underlying, immutable cycles.Gardeners have distilled these classic patterns and cycles overgenerations of observation.• “Annuals” mean disappointment once a year.• The only way to ensure rain is to give your garden a good soaking.• Weeds grow at precisely the rate you pull them out.• Autumn follows summer, winter follows autumn, drought followsplanting.• The only way to guarantee year-round color is to buy a garden gnome.• No matter how bare your lawn, grass will appear in your garden and inthe cracks between paving stones.• Evergreens go a despondent shade of brown in the winter.• As ye sow, so shall ye reap, unless you are an amateur gardener.
THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT GARDENING 149• Any self-respecting rock will break at least one shovel before acceptingits new home.• When all the chores are done, the avid gardener invents new ones.Every man reaps what he sows in this life — except the amateur gardener.— Lesley HallAlways . . .The gardening tool you need right now is always at the back of the shed.Never . . .A man should never plant a garden larger than his wife can take care of.— T.H. EverettAlways . . .Your lawn is always slightly bigger than your will to mow it.
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Also from QuipperyAnd more books on
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Quippery LLCFairfield, Iowa 52557 U
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TABLE OF CONTENTSIs Gardening For Y
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THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAI
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Is Gardening For You?One in three A
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Getting Startedfrom The OnionTips F
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Tools of the TiradeGardening requir
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Deciding What to PlantStarting your
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Page 159 and 160: The Plant Passion Testfrom David Ho
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Insects and OtherInpestationsMosqui
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Phallic Fungus:Getting Stinkhorn Ou
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Gardening HazardsThe letters of the
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Zucchini ZooZucchini to Feed the Ma
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REPotted
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The Great Kale InhaleHot dogs, hamb
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Carrots in LoveOf all the things th
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Return on InvestmentThe first tweet
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AcknowledgementsGreat thanks to the
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Also from QuipperyAnd more Quippery
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