SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT GARDENING 175
dried manure.
• Your garden is tidier than your living room.
• You correct the garden center staff when they give misinformation to
customers.
• Your dream vacation is spending a full week in your garden.
• You switch from Rogaine to Miracle Gro.
• You sneer at gardeners who don’t start annuals from seed.
• You install exterior cameras so you can look at your garden when
you’re away.
• You start adding liquid kelp fertilizer to your smoothies.
• You install a security system in your garden but not your house.
• You rent a truck and drive half a day to get a good deal on 500 pounds
of aged manure.
• Your kids groan when you make an unplanned stop at a garden center.
• You converse with your plants more than with your family and friends.
• You keep your jar of powdered rooting hormone on the same shelf as
your vitamins.
• Your gardening friends consult you on how to make their own
powdered rooting hormone.