SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT GARDENING 35
Only clueless
people wear
brand shiny-new
blue jeans.
Same with
sheds. That’s why
premium shed
makers will
supply you with
sheds already
weathered and broken in, so that
you’ll look like the veteran,
master gardener you aspire to be.
These remarkable sheds are
fashioned of old wood, and
everything inside is totally authentic. Starting with a collection of brokenin
tools, of course, but also with everything else you’d expect in a good old
shed.
FAKE SHED
Built by machines in a windowless
factory. Becomes increasingly
dented and rusted, even more
hideous than when new.
Stacks of old seed catalogs and magazines. A cracked windowpane. A
bike with flat tires and the chain hanging to the ground. A bike pump. A
threadbare car tire. Lawn chairs with broken webbing. A red gasoline can.
Spiderwebs and cobwebs and spiders. Layers of dust. A mound of
sawdust. A mousetrap, unseen behind the magazine stacks, complete with