SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT GARDENING 189
powerful nation on Earth, yet millions of us do not have access to a good
herbicide for our broadleaf weeds.”
The bill has already received hearty endorsements from several
leading suburban environmental groups, as well as grass-roots support
from those living in nitrogen-poor areas.
“No longer will you or your neighbor have to live with discolored turf,
dead spots, and inadequately pruned shrubs,” Armey said. “From now on,
all Americans, regardless of how soft their soil is, will enjoy the right to
quality weeding, mowing, and irrigation. This bill will give each and every
lawn the tender, loving care it deserves.”
Though Democratic critics argue that the establishment of a federal
lawn-care system would increase administrative costs while depriving the
individual of his choice of lawn-care providers, most are willing to
support the bill in principle.
“The bill, as proposed, is not without flaws,” Sen. Paul Wellstone (D-
MN) said. “As it stands, it will benefit John Deere, Scott’s, and the other
companies that make up Big Lawn as much as it does the average
homeowner. But it is undeniably a step in the right direction.”
If passed, the bill would provide full fertilizer coverage for the
estimated 22 million U.S. lawns that are currently uncovered.
“We cannot afford to take the health of our nation’s lawns for
granted,” Armey said. “But for every problem, I have full confidence that
American landscaping know-how can find a solution, whether it be hardy