SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT GARDENING 177
• You squash invasive bugs by hand without a second thought.
• You don’t mind when the 40-pound bag of topsoil that you put on your
back seat (because it wouldn’t fit in your trunk along with all the other
bags) splits because what are cars for other than to haul topsoil?
• You interpret multiculturalism to mean planting flowers among your
vegetable beds.
• You name your kids Rose, Daisy, and Violet — and one of them is a
boy.
• You wake up at 2:30 a.m. to jot down your sudden thought about
where you want to move plants.
• You’ve been known to dumpster dive when you open the lid and spot a
plant you can rescue or material you can compost.
• You hold memorial services in your garden after an early killing frost.
• You’ve taken an obsessive interest in groundcover.
• You use your Fitbit to track your heart rate and the number of steps
you take around your garden.
• Your selfies always include your garden.
• You buy plants on clearance — even when you have no idea where
you’ll put them.