SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

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8 QUIPPERY / SEEDS & WEEDSThe Gardening Madness Test .............................................................. 108Humus to Humorous ............................................................................ 130Of Squirrels and Coffee Beans ............................................................. 144Natural Laws of Gardening .................................................................. 148Seed Packets We’d Like to See ............................................................ 152The Plant Passion Test .......................................................................... 157Gardening With Your Kids .................................................................... 164Communing With Your Plants .............................................................. 170You’ve Been Gardening Too Long When ............................................ 174Gangrene Thumbs ................................................................................ 178Lawn Order ........................................................................................... 184Lawns, St. Francis, and God ................................................................. 196Insects and Other Inpestations ............................................................ 201Potted ................................................................................................... 210Phallic Fungus: Getting Stinkhorn Out of Your Stinkin’ Garden ......... 217Gardening Hazards ............................................................................... 223Zucchini Zoo ......................................................................................... 239Defining Terms ..................................................................................... 248
THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT GARDENING 9Repotted ............................................................................................... 255The Difference Between Non-Gardeners and Gardeners .................... 264Cheesy Peasy ........................................................................................ 268Mango Menace ..................................................................................... 282Questions & Anthers ............................................................................. 284Wascally Wabbits: Going to Battle for Your Blooms ........................... 292World Naked Gardening Day ............................................................... 298Gardening in the Headlines .................................................................. 300The Great Kale Inhale ........................................................................... 303Mad Haters ........................................................................................... 306Carrots in Love ...................................................................................... 309Reality Chuck ........................................................................................ 318Return on Investment ........................................................................... 325Special Bonus Feature .......................................................................... 330Acknowledgements .............................................................................. 337Also from Quippery .............................................................................. 347Giving Back ........................................................................................... 348
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Page 9: TABLE OF CONTENTSIs Gardening For Y
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The Plant Passion Testfrom David Ho
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Insects and OtherInpestationsMosqui
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Phallic Fungus:Getting Stinkhorn Ou
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Gardening HazardsThe letters of the
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Zucchini ZooZucchini to Feed the Ma
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REPotted
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The Great Kale InhaleHot dogs, hamb
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Carrots in LoveOf all the things th
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Return on InvestmentThe first tweet
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AcknowledgementsGreat thanks to the
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Also from QuipperyAnd more Quippery
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