SEEDS & WEEDS: The Funniest Things People Have Said About GARDENING

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276 QUIPPERY / SEEDS & WEEDSQ: What is the gardener’s favorite novel?A: War and PeasA friend dug a hole in thegarden and filled it withwater.I think he meant well.Q: Why did the gardener quit?A: His celery wasn’t highenough.Q: What do you get if you cross afour-leaf clover with poisonivy?A: A rash of good luck.Q: What do you call it whenearthworms take over the world?A: Global worming.
THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT GARDENING 277I used to have a job making furniture out of plants.I’ll tell you, it was no bed of roses.Q: Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a garden?A: Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!I’m making a belt decorated with herbs from my garden.My friends tell me it’s a waist of thyme.It turns out my front lawn is chicken proof.It’s impeccable.Q: What is brown and runs round the garden?A: A fence.Q: What do you call a homeless snail?A: A slug.Q: Why couldn’t the gardener plant any flowers?A: He hadn’t botany!
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Also from QuipperyAnd more books on
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Quippery LLCFairfield, Iowa 52557 U
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TABLE OF CONTENTSIs Gardening For Y
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THE FUNNIEST THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAI
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Is Gardening For You?One in three A
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Getting Startedfrom The OnionTips F
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Tools of the TiradeGardening requir
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Deciding What to PlantStarting your
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The Plant Passion Testfrom David Ho
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Insects and OtherInpestationsMosqui
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Phallic Fungus:Getting Stinkhorn Ou
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Gardening HazardsThe letters of the
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AcknowledgementsGreat thanks to the
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Also from QuipperyAnd more Quippery
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