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quite warm under his gaze. Why not, after all? Was it a coincidence that
she had broken up with Bill just a few days before asking Jacques to
supervise her thesis? She had not seen Matilda for several weeks, she felt
sort of lonely. Her sisters already saw themselves as adults, with interests
in life very different from hers. Gerry studying commerce! And Susan
spending more time on the tennis court than reading books. Only Baby
La was such a wonderful baby. Let nobody call her names, she would
have a hard time in this country later. With all the work you have to
complete at the end of the academic year, not a minute for the people I
love. But I’ll spend two months in Europe, I must find a moment to go
say hello before I leave. At least a brief visit; no, that would be unfair,
the whole afternoon. Or in the morning, if it were not so far. I’d water
the plants. I feel like a happy child making herself useful. Mattie, such
peace, after so much turmoil. Who could be that famous lover she had
when she was a student? Why ask? Mere curiosity. Shouldn’t tell her that
the beautiful tropical plant they gave me last time is dying. Probably
not enough light under the porch.
I should write to Jean-François and his family in Bordeaux.
Maybe I’ll catch a train from Paris to see them. The mother died of
breast cancer, poor woman. Check myself for lumps. Dr Scott is always
ready to do that, is she a lesbian? Who knows. Lipstick? What colour?
This dress is a bit too revealing. I have put some weight on since I went
to the Union Ball in August. It’s not the pill, I had the IUD inserted
before the winter. Stupid ball, with Bill: a future lawyer, party politics,
tradition, relations, alumni, like his father, like Dad. Never again. How
could I stand all that bull? He wanted me at his side because I am a
well-bred daughter of the bourgeoisie with a plus, a body to make heads
turn. A valuable piece of furniture with a degree in Arts. Sex once a
week, a quick one... Never gave me time to really enjoy it. Him on top.
Perfume? No, the scented soap smells good enough on my skin. I am not
going to seduce anyone like a cheap housewife. The jasmine climbing
on the side of the garage door, stronger every year. I remember that we
planted it when we moved in, eight years ago? I was in year seven. John
tried to touch my legs when we were unpotting the red hibiscus shrub.
He said I was hairy like a boy. Liar.
So, he has a son. Who has a girlfriend in Randwick. Prof. Silverman’s
wife was his wife before, they say. The boy must be hers. She
gave me Indonesian classes when I was in first year. How embarrassing.
I should not have accepted this invitation. But now it’s too late. He’s
going to be here any minute. And I shouldn’t have dressed up like this, I
would feel so much better in my old jeans and a cotton top. Sure he will
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