internet humor about stalin netinalju stalinist - Eesti Rahvaluule

Arvo Krikmann
“We ain’t got the rails and not even any food in the restaurant car!” Yeltsin – have
the army attack the Russian parliament and hope everyone forgets about the train
incident.
ENG 2
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A train was stalled on the Trans-Siberian Railway, on board were Tsar Nicholas
II, Lenin, Stalin, Khruschev, Brezhnev, Chernynko, Andropov, Gorbachev, and
Yeltsin. Tsar Nicholas stands up and says: “I shall make this train move.” He gets
off the train, mounts his horse and rides off to Paris. Lenin then stands up and says,
“I shall make this train move.” He leaves the car and returns a few minutes later.
“I’ve instituted a new 8 day work week,” he says and sits down. e train still doesn’t
move. Stalin stands up and says: “I shall make this train move.” He leaves the car
and returns a few minutes later. “I’ve shot the engineer,” he says as he sits down.
e train still doesn’t move. Khruschev then stands up and says: “I shall make this
train move.” He leaves the car and returns a few minutes later. “I’ve reinstated the
engineer, posthumously,” he says as he sits down. e train doesn’t move. Brezhnev
then stands up and says: “I shall make this train move.” He then instructs everyone
to act like the train is moving and sits down. e train doesn’t move. Chernynko
and Andropov both jointly declare: “We shall make this train move.” ey then get
off the train. e train doesn’t move. Gorbachev, with a sigh, stands up and says:
“I shall make this train move.” He stands and, pulling down the window, yells outside:
“is train doesn’t move!” Gorbachev sits back down. e train doesn’t move.
Yeltsin, quite put out, stands up and says: “I shall change the train for one that
works!” He leaves and returns shortly with a new train. As the passengers board it,
they see that it is an old American Steam Engine which is owned by the Germans
and has no wheels. Is this train going to move?
ENG 2
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Russian political leaders are in a train. e train stops in the middle of Siberia. e
locomotive driver says: “is is how far the tracks have been built.” Stalin shouts:
“Let’s kill the driver!” Khruschev says: “Let’s take apart the track behind us and use
the supplies to build the track ahead of us.” Breznev says: “Let’s close the curtains
and imagine that the train is moving.” Andropov is asleep and doesn’t notice anything.
Gorbachev runs out and starts shouting: “e train isn’t moving! e train
isn’t moving!”
ENG 2
«
As the joke has it, Stalin, Khruschev, and Brezhnev are travelling on a train when
it suddenly shudders to a halt. “Fix it!” orders Stalin. e engineers repair it, but
still the train does not move. “Shoot everyone!” orders Stalin. All the engineers are
shot, but the train obstinately refuses to budge. Stalin dies. “Rehabilitate everyone!”
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