internet humor about stalin netinalju stalinist - Eesti Rahvaluule

Arvo Krikmann
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Happened some time ago when late Leonid Brezhnev was still in charge in Russia
and the good old communist party ruled in Poland. Brezhnev was coming to an official
visit and the Polish Central Committee was planning the celebrations. Says
one: “ere are no major works of art in our collections that would show Lenin
visiting Poland. We could order a painting from one of our contemporary artists,
in real socialistic realism style and all, and unveil it as a highlight of our formal
dinner with Brezhnev.” Everybody is cheering. What a wonderful idea! Until the
young colonel Jaruzelski, Committee member and expert in political history, makes
a disappointing remark: “Unfortunately, comrades, I must tell you that during his
most celebrated and honourable life, Lenin never visited Poland.” Fierce discussion
follows. Art must tell the truth, that’s agreed upon, so the artist must not lie to the
people by painting a fictitious situation. Finally, a young and promising painter is
brought in front of the committee, and he surprises everybody by promising that he
can make a painting from the subject “Lenin in Poland” with nothing fictitious in it.
e great day arrives and Brezhnev’s visit is a success. In the evening, the big formal
dinner is held at the Cultural Palace of Warsaw. e huge, veiled painting hangs on
the wall opposite Brezhnev and chairman Gierek. Bottles of champagne are prepared,
trumpets play a short and jubilous signal, and the silk-thin veil is dropped to
the floor with a roar of applause... which suddenly dies into a nasty silence. Some
hasty whispers, and the poor artist is most promptly brought in front of chairman
Gierek, who asks: “My comrade, you were given the subject ‘Lenin in Poland’. Could
you explain, who is that young lady in your painting who lies naked on the pillows?”
– “Comrade chairman, she is Anna Fjeodorovna, Lenin’s wife.” – “Oh yes... but who
is that greedy-looking bearded fellow who is kissing her navel?” – “He is Prince
Jusupof, the famous Russian Don-Juan from the beginning of the century.” – “But...
but where is Lenin?” – “Comrade Chairman, Lenin is in Poland.”
ENG 5
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A man was a collector of paintings with the theme of the Bolshevik Revolution. He
had asked his friends to be on the lookout for such paintings. So, one day he was
told that in Petrograd, an ex KGB colonel had for sale a painting titled “Lenin in
Paris”. He took the first Aeroflot flight there and at 9 pm he knocks on the door of
the seller. “Do you have the painting “Lenin in Paris”? I want to buy it right now,
price is no object, I have to have this painting immediately,” he said to the owner.
“Sir,” says the other man, “why don’t you come in, have some tea, see the painting,
and if you like it, we will negotiate a price.” Eager to get it, the prospective buyer
went in the house and down the basement, where there was a huge painting. To his
surprise, after the dust was removed, he saw a big guy with bushy eyebrows and
a heavy mustache, copulating vigorously with a beautiful woman! “But,” he said,
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