internet humor about stalin netinalju stalinist - Eesti Rahvaluule

Netinalju Stalinist
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ere is an old Soviet joke.
Stalin, Khrushchev, and Brezhnev were on a train together. Suddenly the train
stopped. Stalin said: “I’ll get it started again.” He leaves the others and after a bit
comes back. “Everything under control. We’re about to start moving.” – “What did
you do?” they ask him. “I told the engine driver that unless the train started in five
minutes he would be liquidated.” e train remains stationary. So Khrushchev says:
“I’ll see what I can do.” He comes back beaming: “Problem solved.” – “What did you
do?” – “I told him that if he got the train moving in five minutes he would be rehabilitated.”
e train remains stationary. Brezhnev pulls down the blinds. “What did
you do that for?” the others ask. “Let’s pretend the train is moving,” he replied.
ENG 1 ref
Lord Robert Skidelsky, e Future of Russia
Shell eatrette, Melbourne [04.05.1999]
http://www.ipa.org.au/Speechesandsubmssns/LSrussia.html
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ere’s a joke about progress under Communism that was popular in Moscow
during the Soviet era. Stalin, Khrushchev, and Brezhnev are on a train, and the
train is stalled. Stalin, impatient with the lack of movement, orders that the engineer
be shot. Still, the train fails to move. Khrushchev denounces this Stalinist
crime and calls instead for a campaign of the masses to propel the train forward.
Still, no movement. Finally, Brezhnev reaches to the window and pulls down the
shades. “Now,” he announces, “the train is moving.”
ENG 1 ref
John C. Gannon, Speech before the World Affairs Council, 20 March 1996
http://www.cia.gov/cia/public_affairs/speeches/1996/ddi_speech_032096.html
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is joke presents the history of the Soviet economy up through the period of
Leonid Brezhnev that had just ended with his death in 1982 and goes as follows.
Let us think of the former Soviet economy as a train moving resolutely across the
steppes of Mother Russia and her fellow republics. From time to time the train
reaches the end of the tracks and the question arises as it always does in Russia:
“What is to be done?” In any case, after the Russian Revolution of 1917, Comrade
Lenin is in charge of the train. When it comes to the end of the tracks he appeals
to the revolutionary fervor of the workers to build more track and allow the train
to proceed. ey eagerly respond and the train moves forward. en, after Lenin
dies in 1924, Comrade Stalin comes to power and is in charge of the train. Once
again it comes to the end of the tracks and the eternal question of “What is to
be done?” arises. Stalin deals with the problem by taking the Chief Engineer off
the train and shooting him in the head in full view of all the workers on the train
after accusing him of “wrecking”. He then announces that anybody who does not
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