internet humor about stalin netinalju stalinist - Eesti Rahvaluule

Netinalju Stalinist
«
Näyttelyssä on esillä taulu nimeltä “Lenin Puolassa”. Tauluun on kuvattu risumaja,
josta törröttävät kahdet paljaat jalat, miehen ja naisen. “Tässä on kuuluisa Leninin
käyttämä maja lähellä Pietaria,” selittää opas. “Jalat kuuluvat salaisen poliisin päällikölle
Dzeržinskille ja Leninin vaimolle Krupskajalle.” – “Mutta missä Lenin oikein
on?” – “Lenin on Puolassa.”
FIN 2
< Mustajoki
«
Brezhnevin vierailuun Puolassa valmistauduttiin huolella. Näyttävällä paikalla sijaitsevaan
seinään tilattiin tunnetulta taiteilijalta maalaus “Lenin Puolassa”. Leonidin
katsellessa maalaus paljastettiin. Se esitti vuoteella makaavaa alastonta naista.
Hiukan sivummalla oli mies kiskomassa saappaita jalastaan. “Mitä hemmettiä,”
karjui taideneuvoston puheenjohtaja taiteilijalle. “Mitä oikein olette maalannut?
Kuka tuo naikkonen on?” – “Nadezhda Krupskaja, Leninin vaimo.” – “Höh. Entäs
tuo mies?” – “Toveri Simonov, Pietarin telakalta.” – “Mitä? Mutta missä on Lenin?”
– “Lenin on Puolassa...”
FIN 1
http://www.phnet.fi/public/www-vitsit/maat_venaja.html
«
Brezhnev wished to commission a portrait to be entitled “Lenin in Poland” in
honor of the fiftieth anniversary of the Russian Revolution. e problem was that
Russian painters, being schooled strictly in the realist school of thought, were
unable to paint an event which never occurred. “Comrade Brezhnev, we would
like to do it, but we cannot. It goes against our training,” was the reply which the
Chairman received from every artist he asked. Finally, after getting refusals from
all of the great artists in Moscow, Brezhnev was forced to go ask the old Jewish
painter, Levy. “Of course, I prefer to portray actual events, but I’ll do the painting
for you, Comrade. It would be my great honor.” Levy commenced work on the
painting. However, every time that Brezhnev visited his studio in an attempt to
see the work in progress, Levy rebuffed his efforts, telling him that he never allowed
his unfinished works to be viewed. Finally, the day of the unveiling arrived.
Levy stood proudly by the cloth draped over his work. Brezhnev introduced
Levy and gestured to his gift to the Russian people on the fiftieth anniversary
of the Russian Revolution, a picture commemorating Lenin’s historic visit to
Poland. Everyone gasped as the cloth was removed to reveal a picture of a man
and a woman together in bed. Brezhnev was stunned. “Whoa, who is that man?”
he stammered. “Why, that’s Trotsky.” – “And who,” Brezhnev inquired, “is that
woman?” – “That is Lenin’s wife, Comrade Brezhnev.” – “But where is Lenin?”
– “He’s in Poland.”
ENG 8
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