OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

More documents

Recommendations

Info

99 Millions of Screaming Yahoos, Part 1 Originally posted Apr 07, 2004 I was just sitting down today, to count my latest ill-gotten gains, when my new neighbor, Crazy Steve staggered drunkenly into my living room, and was savagely attacked by my dog. It was absolutely impossible to concentrate with his screaming, so I hit Bowzer with a rolled up towel until he let go of Steve's crotch. Steve was eventually able to lever himself into a chair, and said, "That dog's nuts, man...he hates me." "No," I said, "he just hates it when people think they're living on the set of a bad 80s sitcom, and walk in like they own the place. He actually likes you...you should see what he did to people back home. Chicago really brought out his dark side. So, what did you need?" That question was a mistake. What Crazy Steve wanted was a personal reference for his application to the Blackwater Security Corporation. "Are you insane?", I asked, "Do you have any clue what those people DO?" I then showed him THIS: http://www.comcast.net/News/INTERNATIONAL//XML/110 7_AP_Online_Regional___Middle_East/7939996b-bc3e-418e- 9e07-2a4896c0d998.html 12 Marines, 66 Iraqis Killed in Battles 2 hours ago or kill me
100 By HAMZA HENDAWI, Associated Press Writer NAJAF, Iraq - Insurgents and rebellious Shiites mounted a string of attacks across Iraq's Shiite south and U.S. Marines launched a major assault on the turbulent Sunni city of Fallujah on Tuesday. Up to a dozen Marines, two more coalition soldiers and at least 66 Iraqis were reported killed. Troops were battling in a half-dozen cities on two fronts in some of the most extensive fighting since President Bush declared major combat over on May 1. U.S. forces fought insurgents in Sunni triangle cities of Fallujah and Ramadi west of Baghdad, and coalition troops battled Shiite militiamen of radical cleric Muqtada al-Sadr in the south. "America has shown its evil intentions, and the proud Iraqi people cannot accept it," al-Sadr said in a statement. "They must defend their rights by any means they see fit." I hoped that would bring him to his senses...yet he persisted. He said he wanted to get in on the action overseas, and though that (as a veteran) I would understand. I asked him why he didn't just enlist, as last time I heard, the Army and the Marines are still hiring. He responded, "Well, I wanted to, man, but there's two problems...one is that bust for cocaine five years ago...I told you about that. Plus, they pisstest you in the service. Besides, in Blackwater, I won't have to be under military discipline. It'll be one big party." He then asked again if I would write a personal recommendation for him. I threw up my hands, and did the only thing that a man could do in that situtation...I sicced Bowzer on him again, and watched as Steve frantically went for the door. He just cleared or kill me
Page 1 and 2:
OR KILL ME!! Heresies, Rants, Sermo
Page 3 and 4:
2 CONTENTS PART ONE: Sermons 3 PART
Page 5 and 6:
4 Rev Roger Sermon #1: A rant/sermo
Page 7 and 8:
6 Rev Roger Sermon 2: Attack of the
Page 9 and 10:
8 Rev Roger sermon #3 ...get yer ba
Page 11 and 12:
10 But what of those brains? When's
Page 13 and 14:
12 supervisor, I caught an intervie
Page 15 and 16:
14 boy)...and it ISN'T GOING TO! No
Page 17 and 18:
16 Now, the money grubbing b@stards
Page 19 and 20:
18 transition will be easier. Hell,
Page 21 and 22:
20 his frickin' Gestapo, the proble
Page 23 and 24:
22 this: If you get out of line, we
Page 25 and 26:
24 you are no longer afraid of mist
Page 27 and 28:
26 Rev Roger Sermon #11: Land of th
Page 29 and 30:
28 Why the hell should they? They h
Page 31 and 32:
30 crazy-glueing the enter button (
Page 33 and 34:
32 that the battles of the 60s had
Page 35 and 36:
34 the descendants of slaves who ch
Page 37 and 38:
36 You could get on the internet an
Page 39 and 40:
38 Rev Roger Sermon#17 What have yo
Page 41 and 42:
40 legally) booger up the local ATF
Page 43 and 44:
42 Rev Roger Sermon #18: DOOM Origi
Page 45 and 46:
44 that the fun might ever come bac
Page 47 and 48:
46 Grayfaces do not know they are d
Page 49 and 50: 48 Rev Roger Sermon #21: Leeetttts
Page 51 and 52: 50 Rev Roger Sermon #22: The Machin
Page 53 and 54: 52 So if you wish to have a plutocr
Page 55 and 56: 54 With Zevon gone, the most I can
Page 57 and 58: 56 trying...There will be NO revolu
Page 59 and 60: 58 Sermon #25: THE FINAL WORD Origi
Page 61 and 62: 60 4. Do I feel that I have the rig
Page 63 and 64: 62 Rev Roger Special Bonus Sermon #
Page 65 and 66: 64 the bottle, drop the dugout, and
Page 67 and 68: 66 anymore...but your parents ARE.
Page 69 and 70: 68 People are dragged out of line i
Page 71 and 72: 70 most nations, I seriously doubt
Page 73 and 74: 72 All these things I have seen, an
Page 75 and 76: 74 Word Game" or "What are you eati
Page 77 and 78: 76 The Good Rev Roger Sermon #33: T
Page 79 and 80: 78 That’s right, the television
Page 81 and 82: 80 passers by with your message…a
Page 83 and 84: 82 Sermon #34: Classified. φ or ki
Page 85 and 86: 84 He really DOES laugh at the GOP
Page 87 and 88: 86 Rev Roger: The Heresies, chapter
Page 89 and 90: 88 6. Free Radicals: A Free Radical
Page 91 and 92: 90 We are mutants. That's right, mu
Page 93 and 94: 92 Heresies 3: Classified. Ξ or ki
Page 95 and 96: 94 Eris is the goddess of DISCORD.
Page 97 and 98: 96 4. Latent Discordians - Discordi
Page 99: 98 PART Three Millions of Screaming
Page 103 and 104: 102 Millions of Screaming Yahoos, p
Page 105 and 106: 104 accomplishment. "See, Millie? T
Page 107 and 108: 106 rednecks, Antabuse is a powerfu
Page 109 and 110: 108 "What kind of pussy do you thin
Page 115 and 116: 114 "I think I have the answer to t
Page 117 and 118: 116 seem to be without sin, so you
Page 119 and 120: 118 Image: A run-down doublewide tr
Page 121 and 122: 120 Jim said, "Well, watch your bac
Page 127 and 128: 126 Now, Bowzer has always been an
Page 129 and 130: 128 Millions of Screaming Yahoos, P
Page 131 and 132: 130 I thought for a moment, and sai
Page 135 and 136: 134 Cheryl slapped me, burst into t
Page 137 and 138: 136 pitch black, and I couldn't see
Page 139 and 140: 138 bastards off, and we can do it
Page 141 and 142: 140 himself Jose. Listening in, I r
Page 143 and 144: 142 To my relief, Amy was sleeping
Page 145 and 146: 144 near Tombstone. Johnny Ringo wa
Page 147 and 148: 146 "'Clubs', eh? Sounds a little..
Page 149 and 150: 148 Millions of Screaming Yahoos #1
Page 151 and 152:
150 Seth and I had been the only tw
Page 153 and 154:
152 Instead of talking, I pondered
Page 155 and 156:
154 I was a little surprised, and a
Page 157 and 158:
156 Seth answered it. After a short
Page 159 and 160:
158 added with a giggle, "He's a wi
Page 161 and 162:
160 her new home. The only sacred t
Page 163 and 164:
162 "Excellent. Thanks, I'll go get
Page 165 and 166:
164 BIG the interior of the truck's
Page 167 and 168:
166 Millions of Screaming Yahoos 19
Page 169 and 170:
168 PART Four: ROGER’S Epistles o
Page 171 and 172:
170 the left feels morally superior
Page 173 and 174:
172 Rev Roger, Epistle 2: Join the
Page 175 and 176:
174 Rev Roger Epistle#3: How do YOU
Page 177 and 178:
176 Rev Roger, Epistle #4: To the R
Page 179 and 180:
178 Elite, and they get to have the
Page 181 and 182:
180 wrong...we are congenital troub
Page 183 and 184:
182 PART FIVE: Life in the Age of D
Page 185 and 186:
184 Rick takes truly foolish chance
Page 187 and 188:
186 say AVERAGE, not MEDIAN. What t
Page 189 and 190:
188 Life in the Age of Dumb, part 3
Page 191 and 192:
190 Bad craziness...any fool can se
Page 193 and 194:
192 shit through?" Rick just looked
Page 195 and 196:
194 "I thought we were overnighting
Page 197 and 198:
196 Life in the Age of Dumb, part 5
Page 199 and 200:
198 Life in the Age of Dumb, art 6:
Page 201 and 202:
200 heedless of The crumbling found
Page 203 and 204:
202 Sr was talking about when he sa
Page 205 and 206:
204 Rev Roger Rant #1: Roger Gets H
Page 207 and 208:
206 Rev Roger, Rant #2: Get Off Of
Page 209 and 210:
208 Rev Roger Rant #3: Why I killed
Page 211 and 212:
210 Or maybe not...maybe they'd jus
Page 213 and 214:
212 Rev Roger, Rant#5: Eris isn't t
Page 215 and 216:
214 Rev Roger, Rant 6: The End(tm)
Page 217 and 218:
216 "But what about Little Billy?",
Page 219 and 220:
218 another. He isn't REALLY mockin
Page 221 and 222:
220 totally arbitrary decisions, ju
Page 223 and 224:
222 Rev Roger Rant #10: Where the H
Page 225 and 226:
224 Who has the correct idea? Well,
Page 227 and 228:
226 PMs (he can't, but he doesn't e
Page 229 and 230:
228 Rev Roger, Rant #14: What's My
Page 231 and 232:
230 Rev Roger, Rant 16: That's All
Page 233 and 234:
232 world is - and will remain - a
Page 235 and 236:
234 Goodbye, Pedro. Originally post
Page 237 and 238:
236 - serious about having a good t
Page 239 and 240:
238 Our police will protect you fro
Page 241 and 242:
240 The Gospel According to Roger B
Page 243 and 244:
242 Transcript #32 WAKE UP! Huh? WA
Page 245 and 246:
244 Rev Roger's election rant #1: T
Page 247 and 248:
246 Originally posted Jun 06, 2005
Page 249 and 250:
248 10 more things I know are true:
Page 251 and 252:
250 Lost in America, part 1. Origin
Page 253 and 254:
252 ...Back to mi casa, lock the do
Page 255 and 256:
254 my associate here doesn't look
Page 257:
256 Lost in America #3: Lost ₪ or
show all

OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles

Delete template?

Save as template?