OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

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241 "To assimilate you, of course. There's really no use struggling, you know." "But what do you want with us?" Fred was really weirded out by now. "Oh, that's easy. We want to make you our slave. We want to wear you down into a cog, to replace earlier cogs which have grown old and died in our service. We want you to be a proper consumer. We want to send your children off to die for the bottom line. We want humans to be food tubes, ants, mindless automatons. You tend to be more profitable for us, that way." "That's horrible!", Fred exclaimed. "Not from our perspective. Now, kindly stand still, while we hit you with our magic hammer. You won't feel a thing, I assure you. In fact, you will enjoy it. No more worries, no more cares...we will do all that for you.", the man said, reaching for Fred. Fred, being a man of good instincts, slammed the door in the man's face, and ran into the kitchen, where he leapt out the back window, and began running. Fred knew that The Machine was too large for one man to fight, and that he had to find allies. As he ran, he heard hollow laughter. Turning, he saw The Machine grinding along in slow, inexorable pursuit. The Machine, seeing him turn, laughed again. "You'll be back", it said, "Your kind always are." Fred fled forth, into the desert. or kill me
242 Transcript #32 WAKE UP! Huh? WAKE UP! Wha...who's there? JIMINY FUCKING COCKROACH, CHUMP! WAKE DA HELL UP! Chef? THAT'S RIGHT, OPIE! IN THA METAPHYSICAL FLESH. WHAT, YUO THOUGHT THAT JUST BECAUSE YUO GAVE CHEF'S NAME TO SOME TARD IN MAINE MEANT CHEF WOULD DISAPPEAR? Unnng...it's 6 AM, Chef...I just got to sleep...I don't wanna talk about football... CHEF AIN'T HERE TO TALK ABOUT FOOTBALL, OPES...CHEF IS HERE TO TALK ABOUT YUO. YUO GOT A PROBLEM, SON. Yeah...a hideous Tongan that won't let me sleep. HAHA, DUMBSHIT. CHEF IS SICK OF FIXING YOUR FUCKUPS. "Fixing my fuckups"? What the fuck are you talking about, Chef? You've caused me nothing but grief for more than two years, now. LOL, SHITHEAD. HOW ABOUT THAT PRETTY WIFEY OF YOURS? or kill me
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OR KILL ME!! Heresies, Rants, Sermo
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2 CONTENTS PART ONE: Sermons 3 PART
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4 Rev Roger Sermon #1: A rant/sermo
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6 Rev Roger Sermon 2: Attack of the
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8 Rev Roger sermon #3 ...get yer ba
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10 But what of those brains? When's
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12 supervisor, I caught an intervie
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14 boy)...and it ISN'T GOING TO! No
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16 Now, the money grubbing b@stards
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18 transition will be easier. Hell,
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20 his frickin' Gestapo, the proble
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22 this: If you get out of line, we
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24 you are no longer afraid of mist
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26 Rev Roger Sermon #11: Land of th
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28 Why the hell should they? They h
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30 crazy-glueing the enter button (
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32 that the battles of the 60s had
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34 the descendants of slaves who ch
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36 You could get on the internet an
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38 Rev Roger Sermon#17 What have yo
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40 legally) booger up the local ATF
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42 Rev Roger Sermon #18: DOOM Origi
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44 that the fun might ever come bac
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46 Grayfaces do not know they are d
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48 Rev Roger Sermon #21: Leeetttts
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50 Rev Roger Sermon #22: The Machin
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52 So if you wish to have a plutocr
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54 With Zevon gone, the most I can
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56 trying...There will be NO revolu
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58 Sermon #25: THE FINAL WORD Origi
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60 4. Do I feel that I have the rig
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62 Rev Roger Special Bonus Sermon #
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64 the bottle, drop the dugout, and
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66 anymore...but your parents ARE.
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68 People are dragged out of line i
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70 most nations, I seriously doubt
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72 All these things I have seen, an
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74 Word Game" or "What are you eati
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76 The Good Rev Roger Sermon #33: T
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78 That’s right, the television
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80 passers by with your message…a
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82 Sermon #34: Classified. φ or ki
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84 He really DOES laugh at the GOP
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86 Rev Roger: The Heresies, chapter
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88 6. Free Radicals: A Free Radical
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90 We are mutants. That's right, mu
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92 Heresies 3: Classified. Ξ or ki
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94 Eris is the goddess of DISCORD.
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96 4. Latent Discordians - Discordi
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98 PART Three Millions of Screaming
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100 By HAMZA HENDAWI, Associated Pr
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102 Millions of Screaming Yahoos, p
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104 accomplishment. "See, Millie? T
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106 rednecks, Antabuse is a powerfu
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108 "What kind of pussy do you thin
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114 "I think I have the answer to t
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116 seem to be without sin, so you
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118 Image: A run-down doublewide tr
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120 Jim said, "Well, watch your bac
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126 Now, Bowzer has always been an
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128 Millions of Screaming Yahoos, P
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130 I thought for a moment, and sai
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134 Cheryl slapped me, burst into t
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136 pitch black, and I couldn't see
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138 bastards off, and we can do it
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140 himself Jose. Listening in, I r
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142 To my relief, Amy was sleeping
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144 near Tombstone. Johnny Ringo wa
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146 "'Clubs', eh? Sounds a little..
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148 Millions of Screaming Yahoos #1
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150 Seth and I had been the only tw
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152 Instead of talking, I pondered
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154 I was a little surprised, and a
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156 Seth answered it. After a short
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158 added with a giggle, "He's a wi
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160 her new home. The only sacred t
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162 "Excellent. Thanks, I'll go get
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164 BIG the interior of the truck's
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166 Millions of Screaming Yahoos 19
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168 PART Four: ROGER’S Epistles o
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170 the left feels morally superior
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172 Rev Roger, Epistle 2: Join the
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174 Rev Roger Epistle#3: How do YOU
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176 Rev Roger, Epistle #4: To the R
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178 Elite, and they get to have the
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180 wrong...we are congenital troub
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182 PART FIVE: Life in the Age of D
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184 Rick takes truly foolish chance
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186 say AVERAGE, not MEDIAN. What t
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188 Life in the Age of Dumb, part 3
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Page 195 and 196: 194 "I thought we were overnighting
Page 197 and 198: 196 Life in the Age of Dumb, part 5
Page 199 and 200: 198 Life in the Age of Dumb, art 6:
Page 201 and 202: 200 heedless of The crumbling found
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Page 205 and 206: 204 Rev Roger Rant #1: Roger Gets H
Page 207 and 208: 206 Rev Roger, Rant #2: Get Off Of
Page 209 and 210: 208 Rev Roger Rant #3: Why I killed
Page 211 and 212: 210 Or maybe not...maybe they'd jus
Page 213 and 214: 212 Rev Roger, Rant#5: Eris isn't t
Page 215 and 216: 214 Rev Roger, Rant 6: The End(tm)
Page 217 and 218: 216 "But what about Little Billy?",
Page 219 and 220: 218 another. He isn't REALLY mockin
Page 221 and 222: 220 totally arbitrary decisions, ju
Page 223 and 224: 222 Rev Roger Rant #10: Where the H
Page 225 and 226: 224 Who has the correct idea? Well,
Page 227 and 228: 226 PMs (he can't, but he doesn't e
Page 229 and 230: 228 Rev Roger, Rant #14: What's My
Page 231 and 232: 230 Rev Roger, Rant 16: That's All
Page 233 and 234: 232 world is - and will remain - a
Page 235 and 236: 234 Goodbye, Pedro. Originally post
Page 237 and 238: 236 - serious about having a good t
Page 239 and 240: 238 Our police will protect you fro
Page 241: 240 The Gospel According to Roger B
Page 245 and 246: 244 Rev Roger's election rant #1: T
Page 247 and 248: 246 Originally posted Jun 06, 2005
Page 249 and 250: 248 10 more things I know are true:
Page 251 and 252: 250 Lost in America, part 1. Origin
Page 253 and 254: 252 ...Back to mi casa, lock the do
Page 255 and 256: 254 my associate here doesn't look
Page 257: 256 Lost in America #3: Lost ₪ or
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OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

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