OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

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At that moment, the Judge accidentally fired his pistol through
the roof of the bodega. He stood there looking stunned, and
was poleaxed by the bartender, with what looked like the leg of
a chair. He didn't quite lose consciousness, and I was about to
tell him to stay down, when what felt like a freight train
slammed into the bnack of my head.
I came around in the back of a pickup truck, handcuffed to the
side rail. The Judge sat across from me, leering insanely and
jabbering about "getting them all". There was no sign of Amy.
A few minutes later, we pulled up to what was obviously a
police precinct. We were both told to get the hell out of the
truck, and proceed the nice officer into the jail. I had a goose
egg on the back of my head, and I felt no need to argue.
A few more minutes, and we were tossed into a drunk tank.
There were about 10 other people in there, but there was still
room to lie down. I flopped in a corner, and went to sleep.
I awoke a short while later, to the sounds of laughing and
clapping. Looking up, I saw that the Judge was dancing the
tango with a terrified 20-something Mexican man. The rest of
the drunks were cheering them on, and the judge was singing
"Deep in the Heart of Texas" at the top of his lungs. Horrible. I
was becoming convinced that I was in hell.
Hours passed like decades, and we finally got to see the local
Judge. When he found out who Judge Richardson was (that he,
also, was a judge), he allowed us to go with a moderate fine,
which the Judge paid off.
The police were more than polite, and consented to give us a
ride back to my van...which was fortunate, because the Judge
had a vicious hangover, and I had a splitting headache.
or kill me